Day 790 - Rest in Pieces

A few months ago, I posted our sofa on Craigslist. Despite my honesty about the sofa being in satisfactory condition with assorted baby stains (i.e. breast milk and baby feces), I got a few emails showing interest. But after talking with Lisa, we both decided we were better off holding onto our sofa and postpone another purchase for the time being.

Well, the time being might've arrived because our sofa is near death. If our sofa was a human being, then Emma and Andrew are soccer players who survived a plane crash on the Andes and are consuming the sofa to its bones.

The little holes on the sofa have become large holes because the kids find it entertaining to dig their toddler fingers into the guts of the sofa. I don't know what Crazy Grandma and Lazy Grandpa are doing when the kids are fabric raping the sofa, but they certainly don't seem too concerned about it.

Crazy Grandma says, "We try to stop dem, but dey too fast. We old. What you expect?"

And Lazy Grandpa says, "What channel is ESPN on?"

Here are a few pictures of our tattered sofa. If you have any young sofas around, you may want to use caution before you look at these pictures.

This cushion used to be face-up, but once the kids started tearing it apart we had to turn it upside down. I've done this same trick of hiding fabric holes with some of my old underwear.

This is the largest hole on our sofa. It's probably about four inches long, and Lisa said she has never seen anything longer than that in her entire life. sigh...

I think we might start to look for another sofa over the holidays. Although we don't want to spend too much money on a piece of furniture that will eventually get trashed again, Lisa and I have made a list of requirements for the sofa: 1) Cushions should have replaceable slipcovers. 2) The arms of the sofa should be padded. 3) And most importantly, the fabric needs to be urine-proof, poop-proof, booger-proof, drool-proof, and fire-proof (the kids love to play with matches).