Day 1563 - Picture Friday

 "Why do we have to look like this?"

"I don't know, Miss Tyler, I really don't know. But you know something? it doesn't matter. There's an old saying, a very, very old saying: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". When we leave here, when we go to the village, try to think of that, Miss Tyler. Say it over and over to yourself. 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'."

 "Scissor kick...scissor kick...box step...scissor kick!"

The iAndrew.

 

Have a great weekend!

Day 1561 - Quote of the Day

Day 1559 - What the Hell D'Ya Think Answer

A few weeks ago...oh hell...who am I kidding.  About a month ago I asked you what you thought Crazy Gaga's cryptic "Yippy Dippy Doo" cry meant.  She told me that it was a cartoon show that I used to watch as a kid.  Personally, I thought that was how Crazy Gaga described the first time she went to a fondue party.

It was a unanimous vote:  every one voted for "Scooby Doo."  "Yippy Dippy Doo" certainly sounds a lot like "Scooby Dooby Doo", but once again you are using too much logic; you are dealing with Crazy Gaga here.  The actual answer to the poll is "The Flintstones."

"Yippy Dippy Doo" is suppose to mean "Yabba Dabba Doo" which is suppose to mean "The Flintstones". What really matters, and what truly only matters in my sad, sad world is that this makes total sense to Crazy Gaga.  As long as it makes sense to her, the rest of the world is dumb.

But the more I think about it, the more this makes sense to me.  After all, "Dummy Dumb Dumb-dumb" is "Dragnet", "Dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy dummy Dumb Dumb" is "Batman", and "Shazbot" is "This American Life."

Day 1558 - Forecast of Showers

Just recently, the kids are using the shower on the weekends.  During school days, we give them a good scrubbing in the tub, but we figure we can do a lighter wash on the weekends since all they really do is roll around in squirrel and dog urine at the park. 

We have heard of traumatic shower experiences from friends, so we were unsure whether or not Andrew and Emma would like it.  After all, these are the same kids who are occasionally terrified of "Ni-Hao Kai-lan" and Willie the Giant -- not to be confused with the Willie the Giant of 1970s adult films fame.  But surprisingly, the kids love it!

I think what the kids love about taking a shower is that we installed a hand-held shower head into our walk-in shower.  The shower head has about five or six settings, and the kids find all of them pretty hilarious.  I use the regular shower spray settings to wash and rinse them.  The kids crack up at the massage and pulsating settings.  And there is one really weak, single spray of water that they call the "pee-pee" setting. 

I've been giving them their showers on the weekend, and the entire routine is very peculiar to me because it is very reminiscent of your typical prison movie.  You round-up the unruly inmates and strip them down.  After cattle prodding them into the shower, you grab the water hose.  An intense stream of water pressure forces them into the corner of the shower, cowering and covering their eyes.  Afterwards, you toss them a towel to dry off.  And at the end, you give them their Flintstones vitamins, a cup of warm milk, and a few honey graham crackers to end the day.  Well, it's exactly like a prison movie except for that last part.

Personally, I think the key to making the shower a fun place for our kids was two-fold:  installing the hand-held shower head and the kids having each other.  The one thing I remember hating as a child was getting water in my eye -- although cigarette burns came in a close second.  Having the hand-held shower head allows you to control where the water lands on your child.  But who's to say if the water accidentally sprays your child's face if he is misbehaving.

And the one thing we find about having twins is that they often play off of one another.  So if one kid finds the shower super fun, the other kid doesn't want to miss out.  Of course there is also the yin and yang aspect of twins (as evidenced by the Wonder Twins' super powers), but thankfully there is no evidence of that with showering.

Day 1556 - Picture Friday

"I do believe the laser gun balances out the jeweled tiara, no?"

"Ta-dah!  A blue pastel Jar-Jar Binks!"

 "Say hello to my little friend:  legos!"

"LETTUCE ALONE!  LEAF ME BE!"

Have a great weekend!

Day 1554 - Quote of the Day

Day 1551 - YouTube to Sleep

The nightly ritual for the kids is as follows:

1)  Take a bath.
2)  Spill water all over the bathroom floor.
3)  Get dressed in PJs.
4)  Bedtime snack.
5)  Smear bedtime snack all over PJs.
6)  Get dressed in new PJs.
7)  Watch two YouTube selections each.
8)  Get pissed off because they only got to watch two YouTubes each.
9)  Brush teeth.
10)  Get toothpaste drool all over PJs.
11)  Get dressed in new PJs.
12)  Storytime in bed.
13)  Procrastinate bedtime for 30-45 minutes.

It can be a rather lengthy and frustrating process, but at least we have invested heavily in multiple PJs.

We started to allow the kids to watch a few YouTube videos before bedtime because we didn't want them to watch a full-length television show, but it did provide us about ten minutes of quiet time for us to clean up the house and down several brandy snifters.

There are occasions when the kids try to prolong their television watching by demanding that Mommy and Daddy pick a YouTube video too.  But how many times can someone watch The Evolution of Dance or Charlie Bit My Finger?  Heh heh.  That silly kid let Charlie bite his finger AGAIN.  Hehehehehe.

A few nights ago, Andrew became very angry because he wanted me to pick a YouTube video.  I told him I did not want to pick a video because it was time for bed.  This did not sit well with little Andrew.  He crossed his arms and made a sour Richard Nixon face.

So instead of being a typical parent and enforcing my parental might upon the powerless child, I did something a little off-center...as is the way I do most things in my life.  I went downstairs, quickly put together a short video, ran back upstairs, and told Andrew I would pick a YouTube video about this Cars 2 toy that Andrew has:

Andrew was a little stunned and shocked by what he saw.  Afterwards, I stared at Andrew and said, "Andrew.  Time to go to sleep."  And then Andrew gave a little smile and chuckle, and ran upstairs to his bedroom.

So the moral of this story is that with a little creativity, ingenuity, and an extra forty-five minutes to record, edit, and upload a YouTube video, you can teach your child to mind their parent.