NOTE: Over the next three days, I will post the holiday newsletter we sent out this year. There are a bunch of Stephen King references scattered through it. Try to find them all!
Happy holidays! We hope this is not impersonal, but our lives are so much more important and busy than yours that we’ve asked a friend to write our holiday newsletter. Don’t take it personally. We probably don’t even remember your name.
The Ichikawa Holiday Newsletter
By Stephen King
The Ichikawas grew tired of the frigid Los Angeles winters: they decided to move to Maine. Perhaps the Ichikawas would not have moved to Maine if they had known this would be their last cold winter.
Scott and Lisa had a very typical year. Lisa continued teaching kindergarten inspiring each of her students to be apt pupils. Scott worked on the third season of Californication and filled out the year with a few television pilots. Between Lisa’s bouts of insomnia and Scott’s occasional graveyard shift, they realized they were living a life of misery. Every family wants needful things, but this was no way to raise a family.
Emma and Andrew turned two in September and their personalities are developing every day. Andrew loves cars and trucks, and he is a tiny ball of energy. Emma can be the sweetest girl, but cross her the wrong way and watch her set the room on fire. But they are both great kids who are learning to talk, love to play, and have even learned to pour water for their parents.
While walking the green mile – the distance between the changing table and the Diaper Champ – Scott realized his family needed to leave Los Angeles. Lisa could teach anywhere, and he could devote his time to his popular blog. At last count, the blog had a whopping 1,408 hits. Four past midnight, he packed up the Plymouth Fury and was ready to drive out the next day.
PART TWO TOMORROW...