After ten years, we said goodbye to our sofa. It was like saying farewell to a friend. Albeit a friend covered with poop, pee, barf, spit, and breast milk. But who wouldn't miss a friend like that?
Lisa and I had been contemplating for a long time whether or not to buy a new sofa. Our current sofa was still extremely comfortable, but it was a real mess. For every hand-sewn tear and hole, there were probably twice as many stains. If a sewage pipe burst in a convention hall full of people with botched plastic surgery, you would have our sofa.
It took several weekends to decide what type of sofa to purchase. We didn't want to buy anything too expensive or nice, but we also didn't want to buy anything so cheap that we wouldn't get our money's worth out of it (By the way, this is also my philosophy about prostitutes.). We ended up buying another sofa with a chaise because 1) it complements the space in our living area rather well and 2) we needed a chair that would facilitate Lazy Grandpa's television viewing habits.
As soon as our new sofa was delivered, we covered it with a queen sized blanket. Lisa and I hope this will prevent the kids from staining the sofa too fast. But I can already tell you that Emma used the side of the sofa as a drawing easel with a big, thick crayon. Thankfully, we also had the sofa treated with an environmentally-safe upholstery spray so that really helped us get the crayon off. Thank god we sprayed the sofa with asbestos and radon.
So except for the crayon incident, the sofa has been pretty good so far. We hope this new sofa will last us another 5-10 years, and the memories of sitting in breast milk is long gone. And for those curious as to what happened to our old feces-covered sofa, we gave it to Crazy Grandma and Lazy Grandpa to use while they're down here in Los Angeles.
I assume if Crazy Grandma is reading this blog entry, she is spraying our old sofa with bleach and washing herself in a bathtub full of chlorine. Have fun cleaning, Crazy!!!
Our new sofa.
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