Last week I asked whether I should separate the kids in the bath so I could make the face a penis-free zone. The result was unanimous: let the kids take a bath together! Emma and Andrew are only two and a half so let them enjoy their innocent time together before all hell breaks loose in ten years.
Unfortunately, this unanimous vote is being contested by the Two-Bath Party. The Two-Bath Party strongly believes that boys and girls should not share a bath. As you read this, representatives of the Two-Bath Party are in my bathroom trying to put a stop to last week's poll results. Although I'm going to continue to give the kids a bath together, whether you agree with the One-Bath or Two-Bath party, the bottom line is that everyone needs a bath so let's move on.
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One of the tough things about raising twins is trying to make sure they are being treated as individuals and not as a pair. What I said might be different with Siamese twins, but nonetheless, it's still difficult. You want to encourage their strengths, help with their weaknesses, and be fair all at the same time. That's three things to deal with, and I can't even juggle two foam balls!
Yet sometimes I wonder whether or not it's fair to give equal praise and equal attention to the kids even though one kid may show a greater aptitude in something. Let me give an imaginary example using myself and Lisa. Let's say Lisa and I both enjoy weightlifting. Lisa is pretty klutzy and weak, and has absolutely no muscle definition and has actually been gaining a lot of weight. On the other hand, I am bench-pressing transit buses and I have to have all of my clothes tailor-made due to my bulging muscles and strength. Although Lisa and I both enjoy working out, it is obvious I am a Greek god and Lisa is a geek.
Although there is a large age difference (especially with Lisa) between us and the kids, I hope you understand what I'm getting at: at what point do you acknowledge a child's strengths and weaknesses with some sort of honesty. Is it fair for the child who actually excels at something to get the same praise as the child who isn't as good? Does fairness not become a part of the equation? Why can't Lisa build any muscle mass like I can? So many questions!
1 comment:
Praise should always be genuine. Kids will know the difference and start to think "you are just saying it cause I'm your kid..."
When giving a child feedback, try to stay positive.
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