Sunday, March 22, 2009

Day 539 - Sporting Bad Genes

Andrew is a ball of energy. He never walks and always screams. He's an anime version of Sam Kinison. Sometimes I wonder what we will have to do to harness this energy besides using an actual harness. One possibility is having him do a sport when he gets older, but I have my reservations about that.

You see, Lisa and I are pretty unathletic people. I remember my dad taking me to the park to play catch. He'd give me a baseball mitt and start throwing balls into the air. But instead of trying to catch the balls, I'd cower in fear and use the mitt as a helmet...and that was just last weekend.
I also failed in golf, judo, and kick ball. But I did learn how to do a soft-shoe, jazz hands, and the "Shipoopi" dance from "The Music Man." That at least takes a little coordination.

As for Lisa, she's probably even less athletic than me. Probably two weekends ago, Lisa was in the living room and needed a napkin to wipe Emma's face. Since I was in the kitchen, I lightly balled up a napkin and tossed it to her. From the way Lisa was flinching you'd think she was either having a seizure or thought I was throwing a grenade at her. Lisa leaned back as the napkin approached her and put her arms up with her hands in a weird rigamortis claw. As if her body language wasn't scary enough, Lisa did the weirdest thing: she tried to catch the napkin with her face. It seemed obvious that with Lisa's sour face and death claws she was trying to avoid the object thrown at her, but against all odds she actually leaned into it...with her face! How the hell do you make sense of that?

Hopefully, Andrew will break the curse of his unathletic parents. He has many years ahead to develop his energy into something that is coordinated and constructive. And if not, that is okay too. He can just join his Dad and sister and throw different things at Mom's face to see whether or not she can catch it.

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