Day 527 - A Novel Idea

Changing diapers has been quite the chore for us lately. The kids have become very active, and the last thing they want to do is to be pinned down on a table while their soiled diaper is being changed. Personally, if I had a big hunk of poop wedged between my butt cheeks, the first thing I would want done is to have my pants changed. But what do I know...I'm a double flusher.

We've tried different methods of distraction to keep diaper time from resembling the third act of "Quills." We've tried dolls, rattles, stacking cups, mirrors, and medicine balls to keep the kids calm. They would all work for a few moments, but inevitably the objects would end on the floor before we're able to put on a new diaper.

Recently, we found the item that works like a charm: a book. There are several reasons why a book is the perfect thing to use during diaper time. First of all, they need to use both hands to hold the book. Whereas a toy could be held with one hand leaving a free hand to do any number of things like smearing baby feces, grabbing baby feces, or feeding baby feces to the parent changing the diaper. Secondly, a book has many pages to look at which buys you more time to change the diaper. Finally, the pages of the book can be used as baby wipes or a makeshift diaper in a pinch.

It just seems so obvious that a book would be the answer. After all, I do most of my reading on the toilet nowadays. I can't tell you how many days it takes me to read a book, but I can tell you in the number of toilet trips. The Kite Runner: 12 bowel movements. The Lovely Bones: 14 bowel movements. Life of Pi: 1 pee (I drank a lot of Diet Coke that day.).

I took a few pictures of the kids reading a book on the changing table. The only downside to changing diapers now is that what once took a few minutes to do now takes a good 20 minutes.