What's crazier than Lindsey Lohan left alone in a Bev Mo? What's crazier than AIG executives receiving bonuses? I'll tell you what's crazier...Crazy Grandma Ichikawa Storytime!
When I'm at work, I usually call my parents twice a day to see how the kids are doing. I'll call once around lunch, and then again at the end of the day. The reports range anywhere from boring to funny. As long as the words "severed" and "beheaded" aren't used in the report, everything is a-okay with me.
On the way home from work, I took out my scratched up Nokia and called my dad's cell phone. My mom answered and the conversation went a little something like this:
Crazy Grandma: Hello?
Me: Hi. How were the kids today?
Crazy Grandma: Hello???
Me: HI!
Crazy Grandma: Oh hi! So kids were pretty good today.
Me: That's good.
Crazy Grandma: What?
Me: That's GOOD!
Crazy Grandma: Why I no hear you? Is phone no good?
Me: I have full bars. I can hear you just fine.
Crazy Grandma: What?
Me: I CAN HEAR YOU JUST FINE!
Crazy Grandma: (to Lazy Grandpa) Why I no hear, Scotty? Hello???
Me: I CAN HEAR YOU!!!
Crazy Grandma: Can you hear me?
Me: YES!!!
Crazy Grandma: (long pause) ...hah-row???
Me: I'M HERE!!!!
Crazy Grandma: (to Lazy Grandpa) Stupid cell phone. I no know why I no hear. You take. Stupid...
Lazy Grandpa gets on the phone.
Lazy Grandpa: Hello?
Me: (relief) Hi...what happened?
Lazy Grandpa: Mom had the phone upside down.
...and this now explains why I occasionally find the kid's diapers on their heads.
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