When Andrew was diagnosed with eczema, the doctor gave us a few instructions: turn down the heater, apply ointment to his skin twice a day, and to dress him in 100% cotton clothing. So when I got home from that appointment, I immediately did two things: bought some ointment at the drugstore and packed up all of Andrew's spandex clothing.
Of course my mom called to see what the verdict was at the doctor's. She said she figured as much since she too has eczema on her hands. It's actually a pretty severe case of eczema because she really has to be careful of what types of soaps and detergents she uses. For example, when she was staying with us she accidentally mistook a bottle of cocoa butter lotion for the soap dispenser. What happened? Her hands got all red and cracky like Andrew's previous case of anal warts (see entry - Day 115).
A few days later, my mom called me to say she went shopping for the kids. Armed with the knowledge that Andrew should wear 100% cotton clothing, Grandma Ichikawa went searching for the best cotton out there. And find it she did. My mom said she bought a bunch of clothing that was...
...one hundred percent orgasmic cotton.
Excuse me? Is that the way they picked the cotton or is that what happens when you wear it? If it's the latter, I'd have to say that I'd rather wear 100% orgasmic vinyl just for the clean up.
Obviously, my mom meant to say organic cotton. It's just one of those tongue twisty words for a person raised in Japan. I mean just the other day my mom told me she read an article about Al Gore talking about how man-made pollution has been responsible for the climax change.
1 comment:
Just "found" your blog - via your parents! Already LMAO! xo your cousin
Post a Comment