Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Day 931 - Little Big Mouths

Crazy Grandma and Lazy Grandpa were babysitting the kids one night while Lisa and I were out partying it up (i.e. dinner at Carl's Jr and sleeping in the SUV for 30 minutes). When we returned home, Crazy Grandma got mad at me. Of course it's totally normal for Crazy Grandma to be mad at me for any number of reasons: posting unflattering pictures of her on the blog, mocking her Japanese accent, sending her to Arizona without any identification. But she got mad at me because the kids ratted me out!

You see, we took the kids to Souplantation for lunch, and for dessert I filled up these tiny ice cream cones with a little frozen yogurt. I gave the kids one each, and before you could say, "Kirstie Alley at a Hickory Farms," they ate it up.

I don't know when or how Crazy Grandma got it out of the kids, but they started telling her that they ate ice cream today. More specifically, Daddy gave them ice cream. Supposedly, Andrew kept on shouting at Crazy Grandma, "I TASTE IT! I TASTE IT!"

Crazy Grandma was none to pleased that I gave them a little frozen yogurt. She lectured me about how important it is to feed the kids fresh and organic foods. She continued telling me everything she knew about artificial flavoring, packaged foods, and saturated fats. And this comes from a woman who had a crystal meth problem for eighteen years...

This incident awakened me to the fact that Emma and Andrew have entered a new phase. A phase I shall call Big Mouth Blabbing, also known around the house as the Lisa Ichikawa Syndrome. Lisa has a tendency to blab her mouth off with information that shouldn't be in the public domain. This has gotten her in trouble more than once with friends, work, and the North Korean government. Alas, the kids have begun doing this.

Thankfully for me, the kids don't have the vocabulary and ability to say everything they want to say. But I'm going to have to start watching what I say and do around them a lot more. I'm this walking disaster of sarcasm and off-color humor. This has never been a problem with me since I'm antisocial and have no friends; who would I insult?

With this ice cream incident behind me, I'm bracing myself for more Big Mouth Blabbing in the future. I'm just very glad the Emma and Andrew do not have the following words in their vocabulary yet: whiskey, prostitutes, and midget wrestlers. That's one story Crazy Grandma does not have to hear...

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