Day 483 - Kiss and Tell

Recently, Emma and Andrew have learned to kiss and hug when asked. This is unlike my wife, Lisa, who has not even touched me for the past seven months. I forget exactly what Lisa's reasoning is but it includes words such as "you", "disgust", and "me".

Emma is quite cute with her hugs and kisses. I don't think she fully understands what a hug is because her interpretation of a hug is leaning her head against your body. But she definitely knows what a kiss is because she'll purse her mouth slightly and give a quick kiss on your lips. Emma will even give you a kiss if she just feels like it. That's all well and good when you're 16 months old, but sixteen years old? Perhaps it's the old adage: Like mother, like daughter, both whores.

Andrew is not as affectionate as Emma, but he'll occasionally give you a hug and a kiss if he feels like it. The thing with Andrew is that we think he understands just as much as Emma, but unlike Emma who will react to our words, Andrew chooses to ignore them. Andrew is most affectionate in the morning, right before bed, and when he accidentally grabs Daddy's vial of viagra.

Andrew hugs the same way as Emma, but his kisses are very awkward. Instead of doing a quick peck on the mouth or the cheek, Andrew kisses with his mouth completely open. I remember the first time Andrew kissed me in that particular way, I was kinda disgusted. I was putting Andrew to bed, and I asked for a kiss. He looked at me, and slowly opened his mouth. As his mouth opened, I remember seeing webs of saliva approaching my face. And then his mouth completely covered my mouth as if he either was trying to give me CPR or he just watched "Brokeback Mountain".

For the meantime, I'll accept these amateurish hugs and kisses because I'm sure this phase won't last too long. Before you know it, the only physical contact you'll have with your kids is when your hand accidentally touches their hand as you pass them the car keys for Friday night. Hopefully by then, Lisa will no longer utter those words I mentioned before and will replace it with something like: "you", "disgust", "me", "sorta".