Day 492 - Spin Control

In the past few days, Emma has learned the childhood joy of spinning and getting dizzy. But she too will become an adult and learn the unpleasantness of dizziness because you connect it with adulthood problems like hangovers, vertigo, and mad cow disease.

Here is a video of Emma spinning out of control:

Day 491 - Picture Friday

Andrew checks out Ms. Baby January. She enjoys dolls, stroller rides in the park, and botox.

"Yup...I'm gonna pee a lot."

"Look! I'm Lazy Grandpa Ichikawa! I'm going to take off my pants and watch football."

After waking from a nap, Emma realizes Andrew glued her face to the chair.

Have a great weekend!

Day 490 - Too Many Pictures -- Even For A Japanese

I remember when film cameras were your only option to take pictures. You only had 24 or 36 opportunities to take that perfect shot. Looking back at many of my old photos I had very few perfect shots and many crappy shots. But in this age of digital photography there are only three things that prevent you from taking limitless pictures: your memory card, your camera battery, and an annoyed wife asking you to put the damn camera down.

All of my photos of Emma and Andrew are saved on my computer. It is organized by year, month, and week or event. For instance, if I wanted to find a photo of Lisa covered with baby poop, I would go to '2008', the month of 'October', and the event 'Lisa Covered in Poop'. This is not to be mistaken with the time we went camping and Lisa fell into an outhouse; that one is in the folder '2005'.

I was backing up all of my 2008 photos onto my external hard drive and I noticed it was going to take a long time to copy everything. So I wondered how many photos I have of the kids from last year. Since Picasa notes how many photos are in each folder, I did a quick count of every photo we have of the kids. From September 21st, 2007 to January 27th 2009, I have over 6,200 photos of Emma and Andrew. That's barely more than all of the downloaded photos I have of Megan Fox, Marisa Miller, and Cloris Leachman (Did you see her on Dancing With the Stars? H-O-T M-A-M-A!!!).

I don't know whether or not to praise or curse the advent of digital photography. On one hand, digital photography allows us to try and capture that perfect photo. It doesn't matter how many pictures you take because the only cost you have is the memory card and the photo development. If I bought enough film to take 6,200 pictures, I would be spending several thousands of dollars in film and development. I love the kids, but one crappy shopping mall photo with Santa each year would be enough for me.

On the other hand, there was a certain amount of anxiousness and surprise when you picked up your film pictures at the photo counter. As a kid, I remember going with my parents to the store to pick up our vacation pictures. It was always exciting to see what pictures came out great and which ones were disappointments. Just looking back at our older photo albums, there's a charm about the naturalness and messiness of the pictures.

So I guess I'm not against the digital photography era. I'm just against the ability to edit our memories into these perfect representations of the past. And maybe that's why I have so many photos of the kids. I don't delete the photos that show how crappy it can be to be a baby. I have photos of the kids throwing tantrums, getting hurt, running into walls, and driving heavy machinery. When I look back at our digital photo albums, I don't want to have this idealized, perfect representation of raising kids. I want to remember the whole thing. I want to remember when Andrew pooped on Lisa; I want to remember when Emma pooped on Lisa; I want to remember when Crazy Grandma Ichikawa pooped on Lisa.

Day 489 - Cartoon Wednesday

Day 488 - Kiss & Tell Part 2

Before I get into the story behind this picture, let me go over a few things. First of all, it's pretty cute to see Emma giving Andrew a kiss. Secondly, it gets a little Luke/Leia creepy when you see Emma giving Andrew a kiss. Lastly, it's very creepy if Auntie Anne (pretzel maven) gave me a kiss.

So the story behind this picture is that a day or two ago, Emma just went up to Andrew and started to kiss him. Andrew didn't think much of it. He just had his bottle full of milk to keep him occupied, and needless to say Emma already chugged her milk down.

But this incestuous make-out session didn't stop after the first time. It happened over and over again. It became a game for Emma. She would totter up to Andrew, give him a little kiss on his face, giggle, and run away. Andrew didn't have much of a reaction. He just kinda sat there not knowing how to react -- much like the way his daddy had no idea how to react to girls because they never gave him the time of day for most of his life so on the rare occasion when a girl did come up to him he did not know how to behave and would often scare the girl away creating great bitterness and sexual confusion within him. But I digress...

This cycle of Emma running around kissing Andrew lasted quite some time. Emma probably could've done this all day, but Andrew grew tired of the game. It finally came to a point when Emma walked up to Andrew, leaned over to give him a kiss, but this time Andrew turned an angry face towards Emma and screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Emma was taken aback, and ran into the arms of Lisa.

So what is the lesson learned here...besides incest is bad? We learned that Emma will probably be very popular in high school and college. And as for Andrew, we learned that he probably got angry at Emma's kissing because he noticed the same reaction with Mommy being annoyed at Daddy trying to kiss her...which in turn created great bitterness and sexual confusion within him. But I digress...with great confusion and bitterness.

Day 487 - Poll Results & New Poll

Last week I asked whether or not it was too early to discipline the kids. The results were pretty close! Fifty-four percent thought we should discipline the kids according to the situation. The remainder of you believed it's never too early to teach your children discipline. Surprisingly, there was not one vote that agreed with the notion that our kids are too young to be disciplined. Although I must admit I saw Emma and Andrew at the laptop trying to figure out how to vote for that option. I would've admonished them for playing with the computer except the poll was not closed yet so I just shrugged at them and we all drank a few beers (It is okay to let babies drink beer, right?).

**********

As I mentioned to a friend at work, our big exciting trips over the weekends have now become Costco and Target. A few weekends ago, I was excited to find a very fancy shower caddy at Bed, Bath, & Beyond on sale. If I mentioned "shower caddy" and "Bed, Bath, & Beyond" in a sentence ten years ago, I would've bitch-slapped myself repeatedly. But for better or worse, this is the current reality of our weekend excursions.

Ever since we took the kids to an amusement park last August and noticed how uninterested the kids were, Lisa and I realized we just wasted a bunch of money that could've gone towards something more entertaining like fancy shower caddies. From that point on, we really haven't taken the kids any where too stimulating unless you count Costco, Target, and the occasional, exotic Cost Plus.

Now that the kids are sixteen months old and a lot more aware of their surroundings, do you think it's about time to take them somewhere again? What would be an appropriate place for kids their age? The park? A zoo? A baby-proofed brothel?

Day 486 - Only Thing We Have to Fear...

One of the questions we asked our pediatrician was that we have noticed Emma finds the oddest things scary. It started a few months ago when I played a Classical Baby dvd. As the main titles played, I noticed that Emma looked a little tense. As the little baby conductor struggled to get on his podium, Emma backed up a little. When the baby conductor raised his baton and the animal orchestra began to play, Emma let out a scream.

This behavior was odd because the kids watched these dvds before, but Emma never had this reaction before. I tried the dvd a few time more, and Emma always had the fearful reaction. I finally thought I would try to reenact the main titles by dressing up like a baby, but Emma found that even more frightening. Perhaps the sight of me in diapers was a little too horrific.

More recently, I had the movie Kung-Fu Panda playing on television. There was nothing violent on screen -- just a big panda bear trying to get up off the floor. Emma found this behavior to be disturbing and began to cry. To determine whether or not she was afraid of a panda or a fat person getting off the ground, I asked our overweight neighbor to visit. Long story short, let's just say Emma could be afraid of a panda bears, fat people getting off the ground, or fat people sitting on Daddy.

When I recalled these incidences to our doctor, our doctor shrugged it off as just a phase that will pass. Most likely, Emma will forget about it and in a few months she won't be afraid of these things anymore. The doctor said that if Emma starts to cry about something in a fearful manner, we should just distract her with something else. I explained to the doctor that I have tried this before with Emma. The doctor asked what I distracted her with. I told her severed heads.

I just hope Emma doesn't turn out to be a wimpy kid like I was. When I was a kid, I was afraid of harmless things like Disneyland parades, Snuffleupagus, and trickle-down economics. She's only 16 months year old so who really knows how she will be when she gets older. I just hope she's level-headed and maintains a reasonable sense of things she should be afraid of like strangers, fire, and movies directed by Alan Smithee.

Day 485 - 15 Month Check-up

This week the kids went in for their 15 month check-up. Thankfully the kids have not made a connection between the doctor's office and large metal needles being stuck into their innocent arms.

Even a hypochondriac like me doesn't get too nervous when walking into our kids' doctor's office. The waiting area is pretty colorful and inviting. There's a little television in the corner usually playing a Disney movie. And the walls are murals of underwater sealife. This is in stark contrast to my childhood doctor's office whose theme was the 1979 Iran hostage situation. Although walking into a waiting area with President Carter's gigantic teeth did make me want to floss more often.

Before getting to Emma's and Andrew's height and weight, both of them seem to be developing quite well. They both have a healthy appetite and eat a nice variety of food. We weaned them off of their bottles, but our attempt at getting rid of their pacifiers has not been achieved. Our doctor noticed that Emma likes to engage in communication a little more than Andrew, but Andrew's motor skills are more advanced. She said this is quite normal and is one difference between boys and girls. I asked if another difference is that boys are good at math and girls are good in the kitchen. The doctor just stared at me and then hit me with a tongue depressor.

And now for the measurements! Andrew is 30 1/2 inches tall and 21 pounds and 12 ounces. This puts him in the 40th percentile for height and 15th for weight. As for Emma, she is 32 1/2 inches tall and 24 pounds and 7 ounces. This puts her in the 95th percentile for height and 75th for weight. We knew Emma was taller (and heavier) than Andrew, but we didn't know she was 2 inches taller. That's quite a difference when you're not even three feet tall yet.

The kids got a couple of shots, cried a bit, and got over it. As we left the office, the receptionist gave each of the kids a little something for the car ride home. Andrew got a little elephant bath toy that squirts water out of its nostril. And Emma got a honey baked ham.

Day 484 - Picture Friday

"I wouldn't have such a problem turning on this television if I knew what the word 'power' looked like and what it meant."

"...and then you hook the HDMI cable into the input of the television and the output of your receiver..."

"Stop calling me one! I'm one and one-quarter!"

"Look! I'm Mount Fuji!"

An example of static electricity.


Have a great weekend!

Yes...Another Delay

Sorry for the tardiness on the posts.  It's the last week of shooting this television pilot, and for the past few nights I haven't returned home until 9-10pm.  It gives me just enough time to eat, wash up, and spend time with my true love, my Nintendo Wii.

In the next day or two, I will once again catch up on the postings.  But in the meantime I have some great news on my sister's blog site, I Heart Daily.  She told me her site which is only a few months old has already been nominated for a Bloggie!  Yes!  A Bloggie!!!  So go to 2009.bloggies.com and choose I Heart Daily for Best Group Weblog!

The bigger question is why wasn't Edamames in a Pod nominated for anything?  Not even Best Soy Bean Blog?  Come on people!  Where's the love???

Day 483 - Kiss and Tell

Recently, Emma and Andrew have learned to kiss and hug when asked. This is unlike my wife, Lisa, who has not even touched me for the past seven months. I forget exactly what Lisa's reasoning is but it includes words such as "you", "disgust", and "me".

Emma is quite cute with her hugs and kisses. I don't think she fully understands what a hug is because her interpretation of a hug is leaning her head against your body. But she definitely knows what a kiss is because she'll purse her mouth slightly and give a quick kiss on your lips. Emma will even give you a kiss if she just feels like it. That's all well and good when you're 16 months old, but sixteen years old? Perhaps it's the old adage: Like mother, like daughter, both whores.

Andrew is not as affectionate as Emma, but he'll occasionally give you a hug and a kiss if he feels like it. The thing with Andrew is that we think he understands just as much as Emma, but unlike Emma who will react to our words, Andrew chooses to ignore them. Andrew is most affectionate in the morning, right before bed, and when he accidentally grabs Daddy's vial of viagra.

Andrew hugs the same way as Emma, but his kisses are very awkward. Instead of doing a quick peck on the mouth or the cheek, Andrew kisses with his mouth completely open. I remember the first time Andrew kissed me in that particular way, I was kinda disgusted. I was putting Andrew to bed, and I asked for a kiss. He looked at me, and slowly opened his mouth. As his mouth opened, I remember seeing webs of saliva approaching my face. And then his mouth completely covered my mouth as if he either was trying to give me CPR or he just watched "Brokeback Mountain".

For the meantime, I'll accept these amateurish hugs and kisses because I'm sure this phase won't last too long. Before you know it, the only physical contact you'll have with your kids is when your hand accidentally touches their hand as you pass them the car keys for Friday night. Hopefully by then, Lisa will no longer utter those words I mentioned before and will replace it with something like: "you", "disgust", "me", "sorta".

Day 482 - Cartoon Wednesday

Day 481 - Obama Day

I was going to write a longer entry about today's historical inauguration, but I didn't get back home from work until a little past 10pm so I'm a bit beat. So instead of my usual rambling, here are just a series of thoughts about today: exciting, historic, Cheney in a wheelchair looks like Mr. Potter from "It's a Wonderful Life", crowds, jubilation, Aretha Franklin's hat ate an elephant, caution, patience, Dianne Feinstein looked kinda sexy, and hope.

On my sister's new blog site venture she wrote about this website that lets you make your own Obama-esque pictures. Check out my little sister's website called iheartdaily.com; I'll talk more about her blog later this week. But in the meantime, look at the pictures I made of my parents and our family!

Day 480 - Poll Results & New Poll

Last week I was concerned over the amount of sweet snacks the kids were eating. It seems as if I was being an overly cautious parent because seventy-one percent of you said giving them a few snacks a day isn't going to do any harm. Only fourteen percent thought we should not give the kids any sweet snacks at all to which our kids would like to respond with a loud "phhbbbt" and an innocent smack to the groin.

We'll probably continue to give the kids a few sweet snacks each day. They enjoy arrowroot cookies and Gerber cereal bars. They also enjoy eating Splenda straight out of the yellow packets and cotton candy. Thankfully we don't have to take them to a dentist until they're three!

**********

This past weekend, we were at Costco buying our usual list of items such as diapers, fruit, and super absorbent maxipads. While in the stroller, Andrew kept on putting his shoe in his mouth. Although the shoe was only slightly dirty with animal fecal matter, I did not want him to get into the habit of putting it into his mouth. So I lowered his legs and told Andrew, "No." Andrew stared at me with eyes that said, "You think that's going to stop me?" and he did it again. I once again lowered his leg, and told Andrew more sternly, "No!" This time Andrew looked at me with disdain, lowered his eyebrows and probably thought, "Boy, my dad's an idiot!"

But when he put his shoe in his mouth for the third time, I lowered his leg and then turned his head towards my face. I lowered my body so I was looking straight into his eyes and firmly said, "Andrew. I said NO!" And instead of dismissing me, Andrew just looked into my eyes and bawled.

Great! I turned into one of those a-hole parents who make their kids cry at the mall. But did I do an a-hole move or did I do the right thing? Is Andrew and Emma too young to understand or do we need to start to be firm with our discipline? Or did you just open up another browser window and looking up the number for social services?

Day 479 - Prison Break

Ever since the kids started to walk, we added barriers around our place to keep certain areas off limit. We put a safety gate and a pack and play around the entrance to our kitchen, and we used ottomans to keep our hooligans away from our living area where my prized electronics reside. We also put a couple of safety gates around our S&M chamber and collection of deadly scorpions.

But somewhere between when my parents returned to babysit and my parents returned to babysit, the kids learned to climb over our ottomans and sofa therefore rendering my dear electronics prone to drool and spit. At first my main concern was my television, and then reality hit when Emma hit her head on my PS3. I immediately reprimanded Emma, and placed my precious PS3 out of reach.

I'd be lying if I said the kids haven't fallen, but over the course of the past week the kids have become very good (i.e. careful) getting up and down from the sofa and ottomans. The larger concern is to stop them from standing on the ottomans and running up and down the length of the sofa. Once again that behavior was learned somewhere between when my parents arrived and my parents arrived.

Here's a short video clip of Emma and Andrew getting over our ottomans:

Day 478 - Flat Panel Babysitter

We're not against Emma & Andrew watching television, but we do try to limit the amount they watch. Although it's not much more than 10 or 15 minutes each day, it's amazing and a little scary how they become hypnotized by it. The kids even know the word television because each time we ask them if they want to watch a little TV, they point at it and sit down in front of it.

Lisa and I hope we can control the amount of television the kids watch as they get older. We would rather have them do something more active like playing with matches or tagging private property. But in the mean time, we're rationalizing that a few minutes a day isn't going to hurt anyone...unless the 42" plasma falls on top of them in which the only good thing that would come from that is that I would then get to purchase a new 50" plasma.

I'm not too sure if the kids have a favorite show, but they seem to enjoy most anything on PBS Kids, Nickelodeon, and the Disney Channel; they definitely do not enjoy The Monster Channel, the Creatures Under Your Bed Network, and Babies Eaten By Bears Channel.

Here are a few pictures of the kids watching television:

The kids watching "Sid the Science Guy."

The kids watching "Sesame Street."

The kids watching Charlie Rose interviewing Bill Gates.

The kids watching the unrated version of "Showgirls."

The kids watching elderly people sitting on a pier.

Day 477 - Picture Friday

"I don't want to carpool with you!!!"

Although it is cute to see Emma talk into a fake phone, it is sad and disturbing when Mommy does.

"I don't think you're crazy, Grandma. Mentally unstable, yes. But crazy, no."

Left with only his diaper and right sock, Andrew realized he would never play strip poker again.

Have a great weekend!

Day 476 - Sideshow Andrew

Look at that hair! It's out of control! Andrew looks like a little Japanese anime troll doll! Andrew looks like Phil Spector on a good hair day! Andrew looks like Lisa's unruly armpits!

As you can see, it has been quite some time since Andrew's last haircut. The first time he received a haircut was last September right before his birthday at this children's barber shop. And then right after Thanksgiving, I gave him a little trim around his ears. But his hair has been untouched since then.

Truthfully, I'm torn between giving him a full-fledged hair cut or taking him back to that relatively expensive kiddie barber shop (For $25 I could buy three HDMI cables on Amazon...including shipping!!!). I have all of the equipment to give Andrew a slaughter cut, but I'm a little unclear on what to do with that nuclear explosion on top of his head.

The last time I went to get my hair cut, I tried to take mental notes on what my barber was doing. Unfortunately, I'm fairly blind without my glasses on and all I could visually recall is a blurry woman with no fingers stabbing my head with celery. Pretty useless information unless you're trying to make a Japanese horror film.

My attempt can't be any worse than the time I was in college and went into Westwood to get a hair cut with my friend, Erik. Erik's barber made divots in his hair with a razor and attempted to cover it up by patting fallen hair into the bare patches. As for my hair, my generic style since middle school which I shall call "the parted rice bowl" was transformed into something which I shall call "a rice bowl." Here's a drawing of it:
Pretty awful right? I ended up looking like Linda Hunt from "The Year of Living Dangerously" for the next few months.

At the very least, I might try to use my electric razor and give Andrew a trim around his ear and neck. I won't touch the top of his hair, but maybe Lazy Grandpa Ichikawa can give me some tips. If Lazy Grandpa can make all of the bushes in his front yard look like perfect little circles, I'm sure he can help me tame Andrew's mop top.

Day 475 - Cartoon Wednesday

Day 474 - Lazy Grandpa Ichikawa Storytime

You've been sitting around way too long (just like Grandpa) waiting for this new feature at Edamames in a Pod:  Lazy Grandpa Ichikawa Storytime!!!

Grandpa Ichikawa really isn't lazy, but it's the closest word I could rhyme to Crazy Grandma Ichikawa.  Other vetoed possibilities were:  Hazy Grandpa Ichikawa and Patrick Swayze Grandpa Ichikawa.

Although this story has nothing to do with Grandpa Ichikawa being lazy, it does have something to do with his sense of humor.  Lazy Grandpa Ichikawa is they type of person who could be at a party and laugh at all of the jokes without making a joke himself.  And if he ever does tell a joke, he would laugh at it with a hearty "heh heh heh" like an older Beavis and Butthead.

Tonight, we were watching the American Idol auditions on television, and there was a singer who was blind.  Crazy Grandma Ichikawa commented that of all of her senses she would hate to lose her sight.

"If you have no eyes you can't do anyting!  How you read?  How you watch terevision?  How you clean?" exclaimed Crazy Grandma Ichikawa.

I asked my mom, "What would be worse?  Losing your eyes or losing your entire head?"

"Don't be stoopid!" said Crazy Grandma.  "You be dead!  How you do anyting?"

There was a slight pause, and then Lazy Grandpa Ichikawa pulled himself forward on the couch and said, "Well...maybe they can put your eyes on your nipples."

That was followed by a series of "heh heh heh" and a self-satisfied smile as my dad rolled back in the couch and my mom smacked him with the back of her hand.

Day 473 - Poll Results & New Poll

Last week I asked what we should do about weaning the kids off of their bottles and pacifier. I'm not too sure what happened, but thirty-seven percent of you thought we should be more concerned about my butt crack. The rest of the votes were split evenly between not worrying about it and getting them off the bottles and pacifier now. Lisa actually weaned the kids off of their bottles all of last week, and they are now using sippy cups 100% of the time. The pacifier is another story. Lisa tried, but was rather unsuccessful. And now that my parents are babysitting the kids for the next four weeks, we'll probably start the slow weaning process when I become Mr. Mom again.

But more importantly, I'm insulted that people find my butt crack to be a greater problem than the kids getting off their bottle and pacifier. How many of you have actually seen my butt crack? Although I very rarely see my butt crack except for the occasional home video and nostalgic look at the February 1997 Playgirl edition, I can't imagine my coin slot being a nuisance. I just took a look at it in the mirror, and I've got to say it's rather charming and quaint. It almost looks like a little valley of inviting daffodils. The smell is another entry all together though...

**********

I think the food we prepare for our kids are pretty healthy. It's certainly a lot more healthy than my daily menu of coffee, Twinkies, and raw bacon (Where's my lipitor?). We very rarely feed them anything out of a bottle, and everything we give them is pretty fresh. A typical day's worth of food probably includes: wheat toast, eggs, steamed chicken, tofu, blueberries, apple sauce, broccoli, carrots, and string cheese.

The one thing we do give them a few times a day are some baby treats like Arrowhead cookies or an assortment of Gerber snacks. After dinner last night, I gave the kids these little baby banana cookies and Crazy Grandma Ichikawa made a face (...not like yesterday's photo though...). I think she disapproved of giving the kids anything with sugar. What do you think? Are we wrong to give our kids these little treats once or twice a day? Or are we beginning a bad habit?

Day 472 - C.T.U. Later

One of my favorite television shows is "24." Tonight it premiered with a two hour special, and tomorrow night there's another two hours. Very exciting to see how many hilarious torture scenes will be on this season. Although all of the episodes with Kim Bauer threatened by forest animals were torturous enough.

But a strange thing happened tonight: I was too tired to watch it. This is a little surprising because I was raised on television. My best friends were Mr. Rogers, Mr. Ed, and Mr. Tibbs (I called him Virgil once, and boy did I get it!). I also remember getting the fall preview edition of the TV Guide and figuring out which television shows to watch. Before the days of Tivo, you would have to choose which show to watch: Manimal or AfterMASH. What a decision!

I remember hearing my friends with kids telling me how little time they have to watch television, see movies, read books, take showers, empty their bowels, etc. And I thought they were just crazy. With all of the time that kids sleep, you must have time to do the things you enjoy doing. And for the first year with the kids, I did find the time and energy to do most of the things I enjoyed doing: renting movies, playing video games, reading books, and prank calling convalescent homes. But all of this changed as soon as the kids became more...human.

Once Emma and Andrew started to become more active and selfishly needed our attention, our free time priorities changed. Before this whole development crap, our lives really didn't change too much except for the fact that we could no longer leave the home without social services checking up on us. But now there does not seem to be enough hours in the day to do everything we need to do. I suggest that for every child you have you receive an extra hour in the day. Although this maybe an unfair advantage to the Mormons and Brangelina.

I know we'll get around to watching "24" later this week; that's what Tivo is for. But life isn't like Tivo. You can't pause or rewind your life. There's no cute little television set bouncing around suggesting what you should do with your life. You just deal with the present, learn from the past, and prepare for the future. And I suppose that's what parenting is all about.

Day 471 - Speechless

I'm really quite speechless. I...well...don't really know what to say about this picture. Utterly speechless. If anyone has any good captions or explanations for this picture, please feel free to comment. Really. Please. I'm going to take a nap...

Day 470 - Picture Friday

Lisa shows the kids Scott's high school yearbook as they wonder what "Most Valuable A/V Player" means.

The kids' reaction to "Who wants to take a bath with Daddy?"

Not a fashion statement, just a full diaper.

Andrew rehearses for his Cirque Du Soleil audition.


Have a great weekend!

Day 469 - Miracle Worker

What we are noticing with our kids -- and by that I mean Emma and Andrew and not our newly bought baby goats -- is that just when you think you know their personality and where they are heading, they switch it on you. In the very beginning, we though Emma was going to be the difficult one and Andrew was going to be a breeze. But one day, they switched just like in "The Parent Trap." Emma became very easy to deal with, and Andrew was a handful.

Emma was also the first one to babble, and we thought she was going to be the chatterbox. But now, Andrew has become the babbling brook and Emma has become a lot more quiet. Yet the thing is that Emma seems to comprehend more than Andrew. In the critical reading section of the SAT, Emma scored a 550 and Andrew received a pitiful 150 (Is that even possible?).

Although Emma may not say as much anymore, she seems to understand most everything we say to her. If we ask her where her tongue is, she sticks it out. If we tell her she needs to brush her teeth, she runs to the bathroom door. If we tell her we need to change her diaper, she grabs her poop out of her pants and smears "OK" on the wall. Pretty advanced, huh?

And it's not so much that Andrew doesn't understand, but rather he chooses not to respond. We know he understands most of the same words as Emma, but he either ignores us or answers in a different way. For instance, if we ask him if he is still hungry, instead of doing the sign for "more", he will drop his plate on the floor, throw his sippy cup across the room, slam his hands on his high chair tray, and begin foaming at the mouth.

Although we have not made a complete list of words that Emma understands, here is a partial list:

Dog
Cat
Monkey
Pig
Fish
Hair
Eyes
Ears
Nose
Mouth
Hands
Feet
Back
Fingers
Toes
Belly Button
Bathroom
Bedroom
Mistress
Secret
Find Out
Subpoena