Day 336 - Eating Out

After doing some errands this morning, Lisa and I decided to go out for lunch with the kids. Going out to eat with twin babies is quite the production. One big plus for us right now is that the kids can sit in highchairs. Before we would just park our big ass stroller next to the table, and every time the waitress came with our food I would back up the stroller making an annoying "beeeeep beeeep beeeep" sound hoping to bring a little humor to the situation...which rarely worked. I mean come on...human sound effects are hilarious.

Although we are not yet experts eating out with twins, I think something to remember is to make sure you don't give them their favorite food to eat until your food comes. That way you have at least a few minutes to enjoy your food before you hear some kid screaming.

Lisa also purchased some disposable place mats that you stick to the top of the table. These are especially useful now because our kids are at the point where they feed themselves. You just sprinkle some bite-sized carrots, bananas, and pork rinds on the place mats and you just bought yourself three minutes of quiet.

While Lisa and I were trying to enjoy our lunch, Andrew began screaming. Not an angry I-want-to-go-home scream, but a happy I-like-people-watching-me-so-I-will scream scream. And at the same time, Emma started to drop her food on the floor. Pretty soon, the floor beneath Emma resembled the aftermath of every Costco sample cart colliding into each other. Lisa took care of Andrew's screaming by pulling out his water bottle, and I told Lisa I would clean up the floor before we left.

As soon as we got the check, I grabbed every spare napkin on the table and got down on my knees. I started to gather all of the random pieces of baby food. After a few minutes, I compiled quite the pile of food. I almost felt the urge to put it into our Tupperware container and give it a quick rinse at home. It was difficult to pick up every piece of food with a napkin in your hand, so I started to pick up the little pieces of tofu and sweet potatoes with my other hand. I scanned the floor and it was pretty damn clean. Mission accomplished.

I sat back down and stretched my arms up. As I bent my neck back, I heard Lisa say, "Oh crap!" Lisa knocked over a glass of water. I looked down and saw water spread all across the table...and onto my shirt and pants. Specifically my crotch. More specifically the area where my penis would emit pee.

And to top it all off, Andrew screamed again. Not an angry scream, but a it-looks-like-Daddy-peed-his-pants type of scream.