Now that the kids are talking quite a bit, it is quite fascinating to hear what they want to communicate with their limited vocabulary. Talking to a toddler is similar to talking to a drunk (or Lisa two hours after she comes home from work): you have to decipher a series of slurred words, be patient with stuttering, and put up with the rancid smell. But if you can be patient enough, sometimes what your child can say can warm your heart.
The other day, we were putting the kids down for a nap. Emma and Andrew wanted me to stay in the room longer, but I told them I had to go do a poopy so I would check on them later. As I turned the last page of the unabridged version of Les Miserables, I proceeded to wipe and flush; it's a horrible day when I reverse the two. After talking to Lisa for a bit, I decided to do a few errands while the kids were resting. It was only then when I realized I never checked on them.
Since the kids were still talking, I entered the room and told them to please lie down and try to take a nap or else our psychiatrist will put Mommy and Daddy back on meds. Immediately, Emma said with consternation, "You said you were going to check on us when you go poop!"
I couldn't believe Emma was pissed at me! I told her, "Daddy just finished going poop so that's why I'm here with you now."
Emma looked me over once and began clapping. Not a sarcastic clap like you do when your wife spills hot oil on a child, but a clap that is created by happiness. Emma was sincerely happy that I pooped and remembered to check on her.
To cap it all off, Emma ended this celebration by saying, "Daddy, you are a big boy now. We are soooo proud of you!"
I didn't know what to say after that, but I knew from that moment on that the kids must never see me accidentally poop on the sofa again.
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