Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Day 1076 - Happy Birthday!!!

It is hard to believe, but Emma and Andrew turned three today. Three years ago, they entered the world a blabbering, slobbering, smelly mess. And look at them now! Today they are a more mature blabbering, slobbering, smelly mess.

Three years is a short amount of time, but it's quite amazing how quickly your babies develop into these little human beings. Of course, if you compare your child's development to something like a baby giraffe who learns to walk about an hour after they were dropped out of a gaping giraffe vagina...well...your kid ain't much of a genius now, is he?

Sadly, I feel that these three years has aged Lisa and I considerably. We were once the ageless Asian couple, but now we have caught up with the rest of the world and are starting to look our age. If you don't believe me, take a look at these before and after pictures:



The kids are having a little birthday party with friends this weekend, so I thought I would try to make their actual birthday as fun as possible. To make the details of the day a little more interesting, here are a few pictures to look at as well!

I haven't been to Chuck E. Cheese since the 1980s. Back then, it was an actual arcade with dozens of games, noisy animatronics, and cocaine in the bathrooms. When we were up in Sacramento last month, we decided to swing by Chuck E. Cheese with the kids. Amazingly, it's a pretty safe and clean place to take your toddlers. Emma and Andrew could care less about the games. What they really like to do are ride the little cars and merry-go-rounds. Best of all, every single ride and game is one token! It's not like the shopping malls where you've got to put your entire week's worth of laundry quarters into one damn choo-choo train.

I thought it would be fun to get some tickets so the kids could pick out some toys. Since I'm a decent bowler, I put a few dollars into the good old skee-ball machine. What I forgot is that it's very, very difficult to play skee-bowl when you have two 3 year olds around. Emma and Andrew started to take my balls (SKEE BALLS! ...you perverts...), and they tried to throw them up on other lanes or basically just roll them on the carpeted floor. After a few frustrating games, I got enough tickets to get the kids some leftover pizza crust and a retainer that a custodian found in the garbage can.

After the kids woke up from their naps and I took out the newly found retainer from Andrew's mouth, we decided to unveil the present that Crazy Grandma and Lazy Grandpa bought for the kids: tricycles! The kid were very excited so we took them outside so we could watch them scoot up and down the block. Unfortunately, they were not very good with the pedals and demanded to ride their bikes like the Flintstones drove their cars: with their feet. I imagine the kids will eventually get used to pedaling, but for now they are just going to yabba dabba do it the way they want to do it.

After their favorite dinner of cheese pizza and foie gras, it was time for cake. Lisa made the cake, and I decorated it. Both Emma and Andrew do not care for chocolate cake, so Lisa made a basic yellow cake with white frosting. Awkwardly, Andrew told us, "No black! No black!" referring to no chocolate cake. More awkwardly, Andrew said that when we were all watching the newest Tyler Perry movie at the Magic Johnson theater.

Watching the kids eat their cake was like watching a magic show. One second you see cake, and the next second it's gone. Emma promptly finished her cake like a true magician careful not to reveal her secrets.

As for Andrew, you can see him next Friday on FOX's The Masked Magician: More Magic Secrets Revealed!

Happy birthday, Emma and Andrew!!!

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