Next weekend, Lisa's mom and Pediatric Intensive Care Nurse Auntie Susan are going to visit. In preparation for the visit, we decided to get a professional to cut Andrew's hair. And just to clarify, when I used the word "professional" I am not referring to a prostitute. Although I did get a haircut from a whore while I was in college and ironically you still tip with singles.
When we got to the salon, Lisa stayed with Andrew while I took Emma for a walk since she did not need a haircut. As Emma and I walked towards a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, we passed a lingerie store with a scantily clad mannequin wearing a slip. Emma pointed to it and said, "Mama!" I just laughed and told Emma, "I wish."
By the time we got our order from Coffee Bean and made our slow walk back to the hair salon, Lisa and Andrew were already outside waiting for us. I could tell Lisa was not happy because she was carrying a cue card sign saying "I am not happy." When I finally saw Andrew, I could see what Lisa was unhappy about: Andrew's bangs were gone.
Lisa was upset at the hairdresser because she kept on goofing up on Andrew's hair. For instance, when she was going to trim Andrew's sideburns, the hairdresser said, "Whoops!" That's something you never want to hear your hairdresser or proctologist say out loud. The hairdresser told Lisa that Andrew was moving around so quickly that she totally cut off his sideburns. Well, there goes the muttonchops we were trying to grow out for the past 20 months!
As for Andrew's bangs, Lisa had to go pay for the haircut before the cash register closed. During those brief minutes when she was gone, the hairdresser chopped Andrew's bangs off. Although Lisa was angry over the haircut, she still gave the hairdresser a very good tip: Quit your damn job, you blind whore.
Although Andrew's hair doesn't look good, at least hair is one of those things that grow back...unlike a botched circumcision. To tell you the truth, if you part Andrew's hair off to the side, then it doesn't look too bad. But when his bangs are straight and hanging over his forehead, he looks a bit like Frankenstein. Hope he doesn't scare the in-laws when they visit next weekend.