Day 654 - Diaper Problems

Have you ever had the urge to just rip off your pants and underwear and roam around half-naked? I am sure most of us have had that feeling and as a matter of fact I am typing this blog without any pants on right now. Emma not only has the urge, but she actually has taken off her pants and diapers on quite a few occasions.

Unfortunately for us, she is taking off her diaper because she finds pooping and peeing into uncomfortable. What is even more uncomfortable is finding your daughter on the sofa without pants or diapers on and peeing. Lisa has found Emma doing that twice on our poor sofa. And please don't tell the potential buyers of our sofa from Craigslist that there are pee stains on the sofa; we are passing off the stains as a modern marbleized look.

There was also the time that Lisa found Emma in her crib half-naked with pee on the sheets and the diaper cradling a mound of freshly made butt brownies. We've been able to prevent Emma from doing this again because we now dress her in a onesie when she goes to sleep. I suggested cinching up a large garbage bag up to Emma's neck, but Lisa vetoed that idea with her "Another Dumbass Idea" stamp.

This all goes to say that we think Emma is ready to be potty trained. Although Andrew could care less whether or not he has pee, poop, or fondue in his pants, we'll probably try to potty train him too. Amazon already delivered the pink and blue potty chairs, as well as my blu-ray discs of "Showgirls," "Striptease," and "Dame Judi Dench Teaches Tea Etiquette."

I hope Lisa has a good idea of how to potty train the kids because I have no idea at all. I have a hard enough time peeing into the toilet without making a mess on the floor and don't even get me started about my poop mistakes. In a few days, I'll post an update to tell you how every thing is going. Personally, I think our progress is going to be really sh*tty...