Day 509 - Beautiful Baby Contest

Lisa loves watching Live with Regis and Kelly. She Tivos it every morning and watches the first 15-20 minutes of the show with all of that Regis banter. When the show was searching for Kathie Lee's replacement, I remember Lisa contemplating sending in an audition tape. She never did, but Lisa certainly has a Regis fetish. She's OUT OF CONTROL!

Every year the show has a Beautiful Baby contest. You send or e-mail the show a picture of your kid, and if your child wins the contest you get some prizes. I think you get a $125,000 college scholarship and a Regis action doll.

Lisa really wanted to enter Emma and Andrew in the contest. I'm not a big fan of the whole baby picture contest. There's just something a little whorish about trying to make your child a star. Since I've worked on quite a few television shows with children actors, you witness some behavior -- usually by the parents -- which is pretty disturbing and ugly. Shouldn't you be able to enjoy the beauty of your child in your own home with your own family and friends? Why is it necessary to make a contest out of it? But...$125,000 is a lot of money so screw it. Emma and Andrew are damn cute and I know there are a lot of ugly babies out there so we must have a fighting chance! Bring it on, homely babies!

After reading the rules, the picture had to be no more than a month old and multiple birth children must be treated as one entry. We didn't have many cute pictures of Emma and Andrew together because most of them involve Emma crying. Seriously, look:



So I ended up picking two separate pictures of the kids and stitched it together. After formatting it to the correct file size, I filled out the online application and sent it off. I really don't know how they judge these contests when they must receive hundreds of thousands of pictures. What are the qualifications for a beautiful baby? Large eyes? Big smile? Six pack abs?

I have no great expectations that we're going to win the contest, but like Lisa says, "You'll never win, if you don't try...you dumbass." I'm happy enough to know our kids are healthy and are much cuter than their non-threatening, let's-just-be-friends, Alan Ruck-looking dad.

Wish the kids luck and here's the photo we submitted:


P.S. Andrew is on the left, and Emma is on the right.