Saturday, February 7, 2009

Day 499 - Diarrhea Nights

Oh crap...

I haven't had a good poop story for a long time, but here comes a doozy.

Lisa caught a bug at school and it passed on to Emma. They both had fevers for the past few days, but thankfully it is breaking. Sadly for Emma not only did she have a fever, but she had a bad case of diarrhea.

Yesterday morning, I walked into the kids' bedroom and an awful stench hit me. It was the kind of stench that reminded me of all of those horrendous nights when Lisa would fart underneath the bed covers and not tell me. That type of stench.

I knew one of the kids pooped. I checked Andrew -- no poop. I checked Emma -- WHOA! WHAT THE HELL WENT ON IN THERE? It looked like she poured a gallon of chocolate milk in there! Not only was her diaper soaking wet, but her pajamas were soaked with liquid feces. I did my best to keep the changing table clean, but it became a lost cause.

We made sure Emma kept hydrated by giving her water, ice chips, and some juice. Stupidly, we continued to give her milk which in hindsight was causing the diarrhea episodes. Every time we gave her a bottle of milk, ten minutes later she would crinkle her face and cry. A few minutes after that, we would have to change her diaper, crinkle our face, and cry.

I read online that these diarrhea episodes could last anywhere from one to ten days. So far we are about to enter day three, and I can't imagine another seven days of this. It's hard enough to change Emma's diaper because she doesn't stay still and likes to grab at her diaper. Now imagine doing this when there's waves of diarrhea in it. You could probably drop a Han Solo figurine in it to recreate him being frozen in carbonite.

All I can say is that if this goes into day eleven, I'm making a run for it. Get it? RUN for it. Oh fine then. I guess this is all a part of taking care of our little squirts. Get it? SQUIRTS! Good grief, it's late. I'm going to sleep...

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