This past weekend, we celebrated Lisa's birthday at the Wood Ranch BBQ with a few close friends - both real and imaginary. One of the presents Lisa received was a bluetooth earpiece for her telephone. Since Lisa is not as electronically adept as I am which in turns shames her every time we go to our monthly Japanese Electronic Committee meetings, I set up the earpiece for her.
Around 6:25am this morning, the home phone rang. I checked the screen and it was Lisa's cell phone. "Hmm," I wondered. "What could be wrong?" I answered, but I heard nothing except the powerful hum of a Honda Accord V4 engine. But soon after, the car noise was drowned out by the powerful cry of Andrew Ichikawa's engine.
That's right. Because Lisa called for whatever reason, the telephone woke up Andrew. I went into the bedroom and calmed him down. I didn't take him out of the crib, but I just gave him little pats and hugs. After he fell asleep, I decided to call Lisa to see why she called.
"Hello?" she answered.
"Hey, it's me. Why did you call?"
"Hello?" And she hung up.
If it's not obvious to you, Lisa was not using her bluetooth earpiece. I could just see her yelling into her phone while her bluetooth was hidden in her purse between a bag of Big League Chew bubble gum and a vial of vicodin. I decided to go back to sleep. Just as I was about to pull the sheets over my buff, semi-naked body, the home phone rang again. It was Lisa.
"What's wrong? Can you hear me?" I said.
"WHY ARE YOU CALLING?"
This time I hung up.
But before I could go back to bed, Lisa's phone call woke up Andrew again. So I returned to the kids' bedroom, and this time BOTH kids were crying. I was walking back and forth between the cribs trying to soothe them.
"There, there," I told them. "Mommy's very bad with electronics." Sadly, this just made them cry more.
It took some time to calm the kids down this time. But after much patience and parental love, I was able to get them quiet. And by patience and love I mean I gave them their binkies. As I was patting Emma's head ready to leave the room, I heard the front door open with a loud...
In came Lisa rushing into the kid's room asking, "Are the kids okay? What happened?"
I'll tell you what just happened. Because Lisa came storming through the door making a ruckus she woke up the kids AGAIN! Bawl cry wail spit! Son of a...
Once the kids calmed down for a THIRD time, Lisa and I walked into the living room and I asked her why she called me in the first place. Lisa said she never called me, and she was wondering why I called her. I told her I called her because she called me and I thought it was an emergency. She told me she called me because she thought I was calling her about an emergency. I told her the only reason I called her back was because she kept calling me. And she said she kept on calling back because I was calling her back and she came back home because she couldn't reach me on the phone so she turned back around on her way to work and came running to the door to see if the kids were okay because I called her first.
BUT I DIDN'T CALL HER FIRST!
The bottom line was that Lisa accidentally called me and couldn't hear me because she wasn't talking with her bluetooth earpiece. So I guess the moral of the story is that not all Japanese are good with electronics. Oh! And math. I always thought math was kinda hard.