Lisa and I have pretty reliable internal alarm clocks. Lisa can get by with four to five hours of sleep each night; she'll usually wake up around 5am every day. On the other hand, I need a little bit more sleep in order to maintain my please-don't-beat-me-up-this-is-my-first-year-at-high-school youthful looks; I enjoy seven to eight hours of sleep, and I'm usually up around 7am.
I'm not too sure what happened one night, but something went awry during our bedtime routine. Right before we turn off the television and the lights, I turn on our sound machine and I place the baby monitor on a bench at the foot of our bed. And then Lisa turns off the lights, and we do the "Ichikawa Nasty" for as long as we can last. Oh, and by "Ichikawa Nasty" I mean farting underneath the sheets.
The next morning we were in for a surprise. Since we both wear corrective lenses, it's always a struggle to wake up because we have to rummage for our glasses. Waking up is even more of a hassle for Lisa because she also has to rummage for her prosthetic legs and ass. When Lisa placed her glasses on, she freaked out: it was 8:30am.
You see, the kids always wake up between 7 and 7:30am. I don't know the last time they got out of their cribs past 7:30am. So I freaked out too because I didn't know why we didn't hear them on the monitor. After mistakenly placing Lisa's prosthetic ass on my face, I quickly corrected myself and found my glasses. I went to the baby monitor and the power light was on. BUT the volume was all the way down to zero.
With each step we took towards the kids' bedroom, the silence of the house slowly morphed into hyperventilating crying. As we opened the door, poor Emma and Andrew were in their cribs crying away wondering why we didn't get them earlier. Not only were they stuck in their cribs for an extra hour, but they were also hungry because they should have been fed 45 minutes ago.
Thankfully, after carrying them and giving them their bottles the kids were just fine. But of course Lisa and I felt pretty guilty about neglecting them. And I also think we felt a little guilty because it was actually a little nice to have slept in so late. The last time we slept in past 8am was September 20, 2007...not that I've been counting.
This was also one of those situations where Lisa and I could have argued and pointed fingers at each other. But because we were concerned about the kids, we didn't have time to do that. When the kids took their nap, I thought about talking to Lisa about what happened. A certain someone should have checked the volume on the baby monitor before going to sleep. And that certain someone was Lisa. I mean she totally should have reminded me to double check the volume control, but she didn't. What kind of idiotic person wouldn't remind someone about a volume control? But I took the high road and kept my mouth shut. I guess that's just the type of husband I am.
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