Monday, October 27, 2008

Day 400 - Poll Results & New Poll

Last week I asked whether or not I needed to entertain the kids all day. Thankfully an overwhelming 80% of you said there's no need to do this. And to the three of you who voted otherwise: screw you, go to hell, and your mother left her bra here last night.

I've got to hand it to people who stay home with their kids. I've only been home just under two weeks, and I'm pretty beat. I thought I was prepared mentally and physically because I was reading parenting books and doing my Wii Fit every day. But man, kids suck the energy out of you. There are days when you feel like the Nazi looking at the Ark of the Covenant at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. You're looking at your babies and you're mesmerized by their beauty. Then things take a turn for the worse, you're horrified by what you're seeing, and then your head explodes. You just hope for more days with beauty than exploding heads.


For better or for worse, I will say or write or do anything that I think is funny. I've never been very good at censoring my sense of humor. There was a time in middle school when I was slapped four times by girls because of what I said. I believe one comment was something about a used tampon. I think even Lisa slapped me once. I believe it was a comment about a used tampon...I don't learn my lessons, do I?

But one thing I eventually learned to save my tender cheeks from welts was to learn your audience. If you know your audience, you can get away with anything. Ask O.J. So when I was putting together yesterday's video clip of Andrew playing with his puzzle piece inappropriately, what I eventually posted was the second version. There was an original cut that I decided not to post.

Well lucky you! I have decided to show you what I decided not to post yesterday. I will preface it by saying that the handful of people who have seen it already think this was funnier, but a few thought it was too perverse. Take a look:

So what do you think? Was I correct in not posting this yesterday? Or do you want to know where I live so you can slap the living hell out of me?


Anonymous said...

I will never look at a wooden farmer puzzle piece with a ding-dong knob the same again...

sebya said...

hey scottie... i've given up my glam career in nursing to stay home with my girls for as long as i last or they kill me or they reach 18 - whatever comes first. you are inspiring - especially with your kiddie porn. keep up the good work and never stop laughing - your kind of humor goes a long way. :)