Day 312 - Fisher Price My First Earthquake

This past Tuesday, Los Angeles experienced a 5.4 magnitude earthquake. The epicenter was near Chino Hills, and afterwards there were up to 50 aftershocks; there were no major injuries.

I was at work in our kitchen about to pull out a bottled water (okay fine, it was a bottle of vodka). And then the entire building began to shake. My usual first instinct is to stay still and see whether or not I need to run away. This has also been my first instinct on many a first dates as my date began to undress. The earthquake probably went on for a good ten seconds or so, and then the building was quiet.

After the quake, I don't understand why people feel the need to ask the following question: Did you feel that? I think earthquakes are the only natural disaster where people ask stupid questions afterwards. After a hurricane you don't hear people asking "Did you get wet?" Or after a fire, "Are you hot?" Or after a beheading, "Do you have a headache?"

When I got back to my office, I called home. And guess what I asked Lisa? Yup! I asked, "Did you feel that?" And of course Lisa did...and she called me a dumbass.

I asked Lisa what happened with the kids. Lisa told me that when the earthquake hit, she was holding Andrew in her arms. So she immediately took shelter under a doorway and was hoping that the earthquake wasn't going to be a big one.* But then Lisa realized something...we have another kid! Poor Emma was in the middle of the room just playing with her toy blocks. Lisa went to grab Emma with her free arm and returned under the doorway.**

Once the quake ended, Lisa said she explained to Emma and Andrew all about tectonic plates and how they cause the ground to shake. In response to Lisa's informative lecture, Emma drooled on the carpet and Andrew pooped in his pants. Sadly this is the same reaction Lisa receives from her students at school.

So there you have it. Emma and Andrew survived their first earthquake. Now that it has past I feel that there are probably a lot of things I should probably do around our house to make sure items are earthquake-safe. Oh crap! What am I saying? Pediatric Intensive Care Nurse Auntie Susan might read this and start commenting on how I need to show pictures on the next blog entry as proof! I take it all back! There was no earthquake! Better yet, we have no kids!

*Actually, the safest place during an earthquake is underneath a table or desk, not a doorway. So this error could've put our kids at danger.

**Once again, Lisa put our kids in danger. What's the number for social services? I know I have it on speed dial...