Day 286 - Fourth of July

I hope everyone had a safe and burn-free Fourth of July yesterday. We spent the holiday like much of America: drunk and overweight.

Lisa and I invited our friends Paul,Michelle & Jared and Bernard, Joyce & Abby over for swimming and dinner. At our complex, there is a pool that we have hardly used. Lisa actually loves to swim and I'm not too sure why she hasn't used it more often. As for me, I'm okay with the water but I'm too considerate when it comes to searing people's eyes with my pale, white body.

We decided this weekend would be the perfect time to introduce our kids to the pool and our neighbors to my pasty body. Most stores have these diapers that babies can wear in the pool. The ones we bought had a variety of cartoon characters like Tigger, Nemo, and large bosomed ladies from Heavy Metal. Lisa and I wore swimming diapers with characters from The Jeffersons, 227, and What's Happenin' (I had Rerun on my swimmers!).

When our friends came over, we decided to hit the pool. Oh. And here's a tip for expectant parents: Babies do not automatically float in water. With that out of the way, we then decided to let Emma and Andrew dip their feet in the pool. Once they started to splash and kick, we took them into the water and let them have their swimming fun. Fifteen minutes and three floating baby poops later, we decided the kids had enough time in the pool. They were getting fussy and it was past their naptime.

At our last pediatrician appointment, we asked if it was okay to have the kids swim. She told us it was perfectly fine, but we should rinse them off afterwards and put Aquaphor on their body. So once we got upstairs, Lisa rinsed Andrew while I got Emma undressed ready for her bath. Since it was just going to be a quick rinse, I just wrapped Emma naked in her bath towel and waited for Lisa to finish up with Andrew.

It was taking Lisa a bit of time, so I just sat down on my desk chair with Emma and started to read some e-mails. Suddenly, I started to feel kinda warm and sweaty. It was a strange sensation because the warmness started at one point on my chest and was slowly spreading across my body. Was I having a heart attack? Should I quickly bring up the Webmd website? No need for that because what was actually happening was more simple: Emma was peeing on me.

I didn't know how much pee Emma had inside her, so I wrapped Emma tighter with her bath towel and ran into the bathtub in case of leakage. I checked Emma and she stopped peeing. As for me, I had a gigantic pee spot all across my chest. The bigger problem for me was how to take my shirt off without getting pee all over my face. The solution was easy: there was no way to take off my shirt without getting pee all over my face.

After the peetastrophy, we all ate burgers, hot dogs, watermelon, and corn on the cob. It was a nice first Fourth of July with the kids and our friends. Here are a few pictures of the kids, but no picture of my pee head or my pasty body.

Andrew, Emma, Abby, and Jared: The new cast of 'Swingtown'.

The Valley probably hasn't seen this many Asians in a pool since the "Memoirs of a Geisha" wrap party.