Day 157 - Grandma Knows Best

My parents have been here for the past week babysitting the kids while Lisa and I were working. As many of you who have been reading the blog, my mom is an...err...interesting person. So I share with you today some little anecdotes from the past week:

STORY ONE
One day, I decided to have some leftover pizza for lunch. I often enjoy eating it cold because reheated pizza just doesn't taste as good to me. I took the pizza box out and placed the slices on a plate. My mom looked at me and said "You want me to warm pizza up for you?" I told her I'm going to eat it cold. "You going to eat cold? Dat weird." And I explained to her I enjoy eating my leftover pizza cold. I grabbed a glass of water, checked my computer because someone IM'd me, and walked back to the kitchen. But my plate was gone! Where was it? It was in the microwave. My mom was warming up my pizza!

"What are you doing?!?"

"I'm warming up pizza for you."

"I told you I want to eat it cold!!!"

"okay...okay...okay...hmm...how do you turn microwave off? hmm...what button? I don't know...hmm...Eddie! How you turn off microwave?"

My mom finally got the pizza out and it was over-cooked and bubbling and soggy. And as she handed it to me with an oven mitt, she tells me "You know. In Japanese 'no' means 'yes.' Dat why you get warm pizza! Hahaha!"

With that logic, I love you...

STORY TWO
My mother finished bottle feeding Emma and was rocking her. I walked up to Emma and patted her head. Dramatically, my mom slapped my hand and pushed me away shouting in a whisper, "Go away! She fall asleep!!!"

STORY THREE
I just came home from work. After I changed, I was checking my e-mail with Andrew on my lap. I was bouncing him up and down on my knee and talking him through what I was doing. And as I was typing on the keyboard, he placed his hand on top of my hand. All quite cute right? We were both having a nice time.

Then my mom comes to me and asks, "Do you want me to carry?" Mind you, I haven't seen Andrew all day so I tell her nicely, "No. That's okay. I can hold him."

THEN my mom pulls Andrew away from me and says, "You want to be with Grandma instead right? You can see Daddy later. Grandma loves you!!!"

STORY FOUR
Typical conversation with my mom:

MOM
Baby crying. Should I check?

ME
Nah. We can let them cry for a little bit.

MOM
Oh...okay. So sad. Baby crying.

ME
It's okay.

MOM
Magazine say you need to estabrish trust with baby. Very important. Poor crying baby.

ME
Don't worry. We can check on them in a little bit.

MOM (to crying baby in the bedroom)
So sad. Daddy say Grandma can't check on you. Grandma nevah did dat with her babies.
So sad.

ME
Mom...we can check on them in...hey, where'd you go?

Mom comes into the living room carrying Emma.

ME
What are you doing?!?

MOM
Rook! She stopped crying!

I could go on and on with more stories, but I think you get the basic idea: She loves the babies to death not realizing she's slowly killing her dear son's sanity.

Tomorrow I'll tell you how about our adventures trying to find a short-term apartment for my parents in Los Angeles.