Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Day 143 - Grande Disaster

Just like every other human on this planet, we live a few blocks away from a Starbucks. One weekend morning, I decided to grab some coffee for myself and Lisa. The weather was terrific so I strapped the kids in the stroller and off we went for a jolly sunrise stroll.

The one thing I haven't quite figured out yet is the best way to open a glass door with our double stroller. You'd think when you see a person struggling to enter a door with twins, someone would give you a hand. But I suppose when you look as toned and muscular as me, people must figure I can deal with the awkwardness by myself.

After a bit of struggling with the door, I ordered myself an americano and Lisa a non-fat vanilla latte. While waiting for my order, I ended up having one of those generic question and answer sessions with a stranger. Now that we're almost five months into having the kids, it occasionally becomes a little annoying having to answer the same questions over and over again. We've actually found out the best way to avoid these encounters is by employing what we now call the Jogging Helen Keller: don't talk, don't listen, and keep on moving.

When I finally received my order, I asked the barrista if he could put some tape over the holes of the sippy lid. I was quite proud of myself that I thought about this to avert any disastrous spills. If there are two things I've learned about working in television production it's always think ahead and the phone number for unemployment benefits is 1-800-300-5616.

I left Starbucks a bit more awkwardly than I entered because there was one coffee in the stroller's cup tray and the other coffee in my left hand. And just forget trying to maneuver around the patio area. I think I hit a few feet and I know I swiped a cane out from an elderly woman (don't worry, the cane was fine).

Steering with one hand down the street was quite a chore. I was switching pressure from one side of the stroller's handle to the other to avert sidewalk traffic. Then when I was crossing the street over the cobbled pedestrian walk, lots of latte started to pour out of the cup. I stopped to fix it until I realized I was in the middle of the street. I quickly tried to reach the curb dividing my attention between the hot bubbling coffee and the cursed blinking red hand.

When I made it to the other side of the street, I cleaned up the mess with Andrew's burp cloth and continued my one block trip home. Never before did I realize how many potholes and raised cement ridges were on the street. Pretty soon the entire cup holder tray was full of lukewarm, chalky coffee that was dripping onto Andrew's blanket. I gave up. I sped home giving no more care to saving whatever was left of Lisa's non-fat vanilla latte. When I finally made it back, Lisa took the kids out of the stroller while I took off the lid of Lisa's coffee. Let's just say there was little latte left.

So what is the lesson learned from this experience? Not to put coffee in a stroller tray? Not to bring your twins to get morning coffee? Nope. It's simply that there are still not enough Starbucks to make the simple task of getting coffee convenient. Start a writing campaign people!

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