Day 155 - Oscar Night

I haven't finished my Saturday blog about Lisa returning to work, but stay tuned all night for our live Oscar blog with the kids! Since I'm awful at sports, this is my Super Bowl. Stay tuned for more!!!

5:10pm -- The kids went down for a nap right now. Since it's just the red carpet fashion show, I should take a nap too. Every year we do an Oscar menu based on the Best Picture nominees. This year is a Chinese take-out theme:

Appetizer: Michael Clay-Won-Ton

Main Course: There Will Be Blood Orange Chicken, No Country For Old Chow Mein, Ju-No Want Fried Rice?

Dessert: Atone-Mint Chip Ice Cream Sundaes

Also, every year we do an Oscar pool with Lisa's co-workers. Sadly because between Lisa and I we have won the majority of the years, each year we get less and less ballots back. The largest pool was probably close to $150. This year it's $15. I told Lisa if I win this year I can buy four more polo shirts.

5:45pm - Jon Stewart's monologue was okay. Nothing memorable, but amusing enough. But let's talk about the Costume Design upset! Can you believe Elizabeth: The Golden Age won? This is going to hit the headlines of every newspaper around the world. Holy cow. If this is the way this year's Oscars is going to start out, I'm sure we are in for quite a ride. I'm still out of breath.

Lisa: 0/24 Scott: 0/24


6:22pm - Oh boy! A montage with Celine Dion singing in the background. Where did I put that screwdriver so I can stab my ears?

Oh great! Ratatouille won for best animated film! My friend Maureen worked on that! Yippee!

Best make-up. Norbit...Norbit...Norbit...Norbit. AAAHH CRAP. La Vie En Rose. La Vie En Merde.

Best art direction...Sweeney Todd. We actually saw that movie in the theaters. It was actually kinda gross and saw an old guy walk out. Until I turned next to me and realized it was Lisa who walked out.

Best supporting actor...Javier Bardem. Hmm...that would be a great Halloween costume for Emma this year.

Lisa 4/24 Scott 3/24

7:27pm - You know the most exciting thing that has happened in the last hour of the telecast? Andrew finally pooped after 2 days of not pooping. Give that boy an Oscar!

Is it just me or are there way too many montages?

The sound editing and sound mixing awards went to The Bourne Ultimatum. Great movie. But there was this guy who was nominated for "Transformers." He has been nominated 20 times and never won! I think we can be best friends cause I've been on just as many cancelled tv shows.

Visual Effects went to The Golden Compass for a cgi polar bear.

There was the short film animated and live action winners but I was eating some Michael Clay-Won-Ton and didn't pay attention.

Some other people won stuff, like that French girl who I think won for Best Forest Whitaker impersonation, and that ancient guy who received an honorary Oscar just received his trophy. If there ever was a moment when the Oscars needed a montage, it would've been when that old guy gave his speech.

Lisa - 8/24 Scott - 6/24

8:20pm - I was pretty upset that the girl from "Once" wasn't able to say anything when they won for Best Original Song. I was SO upset that I called Jon Stewart on his cell phone and told him to get that girl out there or else I'd put some of my cancellation mojo on The Daily Show.

I just want to eat Amy Adams up.

Emma just ate Amy Adams up.

Don't you feel sad when you don't hear anyone clapping for the dead people in the dead people montage? Suggestion: What if you showed in the montage how the person died? Think about it.

In the latest tally, I have caught up with Lisa. Lisa is not boasting so much anymore. I'm taking her down, boooooooy!

Lisa: 11/24 Scott: 11/24

8:28pm - Well how about that! Exotic dancer turned screenwriter Diablo Cody won an Oscar. That's what I tell all of my hooker friends: Stick to your dreams!

Lisa: 12/24 Scott: 12/24

8:36 pm - It has been 3 hours already and three categories left. I wonder whether or not Lisa and I are going to be tied. If it is, we'll have to wrestle for the $15 pot.

Best Actor. We just saw Michael Clayton this weekend -- great ending. Clooney was pretty good. Daniel Day-Lewis scares me. Johnny Depp looks like Della Reese after liposuction. Tommy Lee Jones -- HDTV doesn't help his complexion. Viggo -- Didn't see this movie, but all I think about is Lord of the Rings. Whoa...is that little girl his date? Perv. Welp Daniel won. Still have to see that movie. Guess we'll see it when the kids are in middle school.

Lisa: 13/24 Scott: 13/24

8:42pm - Best Director. We saw all of the movies except that Diving Bell & Blood movie. Glad the Coen brothers won. Their best movie since Fargo.

Lisa and I are still at a tie! It's going to come down to the tiebreaker question!

Best Picture. Ooo. Denzel. Who's gonna win? Atonement? Looks like this year's English Patient. Zzzz. Juno. Love comedies about teen pregnancies. Michael Clayton. Like I said great ending. No Country For Old Men. Great movie. There Will Be Blood. Didn't see it.
No Country wins. Glad it won. Still feel sad that Norbit didn't win best make-up. Sigh.

Okay...the tie-breaking question is how long is the telecast. Let's see when this show is going to end. Oh no. Lisa says 3 hours 17 minutes. I said 3 hours 21 minutes. We're arguing when the show officially ends. Is it when Jon Stewart says good night? Or is it when the credits end? Oh crap! Okay...both Lisa and I agree that the show ends when the credits end.

According to my computer clock it is 8:51pm. Which means I WON!!!! The kids are hugging me now and saying "We knew you could do it Daddy! We love you so much more!"

Lisa: 15/24 Scott: 15/24