When babies are born they aren't the most attractive things. Honestly, the chances of something cute coming out of a human vagina is pretty slim. I have read medical journals describing Sanrio figurines being extracted from a vagina, but even the attractiveness of a Chococat vibrator is relative.
When your kids first come out they are actually pretty disgusting. Dare I say repulsive? They're covered in blood and white slime, crying, shriveled, and screaming. Look at what Emma looked like when she came out of Lisa's tummy...
Not so cute, right? My theory is that babies are born out of this slimy, bloody mess so there's no where to go but up on the cuteness scale. It's like those really overweight people you see on the Discovery Health Channel who weigh over 500 pounds. At the end of the program, there's a follow-up and you see the 500+ pound person six months later after surgery, and they now weigh 350 pounds. You think to yourself, "Hey. That stout fella doesn't look that bad anymore!" Yet you forget that he still weighs THREE HUNDRED FIFTY POUNDS! So substitute the 350 pound dude with a one day old newborn, and you get my drift.
Where am I going with this? Well, we've been talking to friends and family who have been following the development of our little ones. Probably in the past month or so, there's one remark that we have been getting quite a bit. It goes like this: Emma is a lot cuter now.
Mind you, these are the same people who were saying how cute she was from the very beginning. I don't take any offense to their implication that Emma wasn't so cute because there were times when she looked like George Costanza. Look at Emma when she wasn't even a month old.
Not so cute, right? If it wasn't for her balding head, I'd say she was a dead ringer for the Nick Nolte mug shot.
So if you're a new parent there's a lot of insecurities and politeness going on in regards to the look of your child. For better or worse, nobody wants to have an ugly baby and nobody is going to say you have an ugly baby. But the great thing about having a baby is that no matter what they look like and how healthy they are, those things are put in the backseat by one thing: you love them. I'm sure the ugliest baby in the world was loved by his parents...although I'm sure the parents weren't much to look at either. And I'm sure the most unhealthy baby in the world was loved by his parents...although I'm sure the parents died really young and left their child to fend for himself in a jungle.
With that, I leave you with one last picture:
So cute, right?