Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Day 115 - Poor Andrew

NOTE: In order to make sure my mom doesn't know what's going on, I need to substitute a couple of words in this entry. So from here on out, the words "pink eye" will be substituted with the words "anal warts" and the word "eye" will be "ass". Thanks!

We've only been back from our Northern California tour for a full week and have finally settled back into a pseudo-schedule. As mentioned, we all caught a slight cold from my mom and just got over it towards the end of last week. But a few days ago, we noticed that Andrew's ass was a little goopy.

Every morning when Andrew would wake up, he would stretch and open his ass for us to see a trail of morning goop. We didn't think too much about it because when we brought him home from the hospital, he would have that same goopy ass, but we would just wipe it away with warm water and massage the corner of his ass gently.

But Lisa got a little concerned and read our baby books. They recommended that we call the doctor to make an appointment to be safe. So Monday morning, Lisa called our pediatrician and explained how Andrew's ass has been sticky and slightly crusty. A few hours later Lisa brought Andrew to the doctor's office.

The doctor saw Andrew immediately and took his basic vitals: lungs clean, nasal passage a little congested. He said that it looked like Andrew was just getting over a cold and it was fine. Then he took a look at Andrew's ass. First of all, Andrew has a very large ass; many people comment on it and how beautiful it is. Secondly, Emma must be jealous because Andrew has wonderfully long ass lashes; I'm sure that will get him the attention of the girls in school. It didn't take long for the doctor to look at Andrew's ass to determine he had anal warts.

When I found this out, I did my usual Google search on the topic of anal warts. Anal warts with newborns is very common and if untreated can lead to more serious complications. It can be caused by the same bacteria and viruses responsible for the common cold or other infections. Anal warts can also be caused by allergies. I'm not too sure how Andrew got anal warts since he wasn't around many people, so I'm assuming he might've gotten it from his cold.

So the doctor prescribed us some ass drops. We just have to put one drop in each ass three times a day. It's quite the chore trying to put the drops in his ass cause Andrew gets pretty antsy and angry about it. It ends up being a two person job: one person putting in the drops and the other spreading Andrew's ass open to make sure it doesn't close.

At least Andrew's ass is looking better already, and if anyone ever asks me how he got anal warts I'm going to tell them he got it from Grandma Ichikawa.

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