Day 131 - Capuchin Curiosity

Instead of carrying on about Emma's sleeping for another day, I thought I'd talk a little about how our little capuchin is developing. The one thing that we've noticed about Andrew is his curiosity about things. I'm not talking about any advanced curiosity since he doesn't even know his finger from his penis (silly boy put his finger in daddy's jock strap). But this kid is never still and always loves looking at anything bright and shiny.

One of the nice things about Emma is that when you hold her in your arms, she grabs on to you and cuddles. When you put Andrew in your arms, he's wiggling and squirming like Julia Roberts in "Steel Magnolias" looking for a glass of orange juice. His back arches, his head swings, and drool flies from one shoulder to the next as he tries to look at everything in the room.

Possibly one of the reason for this difference between Emma and Andrew is that Andrew is much more physically active. He's able to turn his head and body in ways that Emma cannot. Whereas we notice Emma hitting developmental milestones a little earlier than Andrew, Andrew has been advancing faster with the physical ones. You could attribute this due to Andrew's lighter weight, but that would be the easy answer. My opinion on this is that...well...I think the reason why he is able to do more physically is because...umm...oh dammit...it's because he's not a fatty.

In the past week, we've been able to put some light toys in the kid's hands and they're able to hold onto it. Emma tends to stare at a toy and probably thinks to herself, "I don't think I can eat this." But Andrew will take a toy and kinda play with it. Mind you, "play" to a four month old baby means drool on it and then drop it on the floor. Sadly that is also "play" to a ninety-four year old.

Here are a few pictures of our monkey with a little toy:

Here's Andrew with this little elephant toy. We initially gave him a little chicken toy, but Emma grabbed it, breaded it, and tossed it into a fryer.

Notice how Andrew is wondering why this part of the elephant isn't located between its legs.

I'm not sure why Andrew decided to smell his fingers after touching the elephant's nose, but I sure hope this doesn't become a habit that carries into toilet training.

Day 130 - Let Sleeping Babies Lie Part 2

Today I bring you Chapter 2 of the Sleep Wars trilogy: Emma Strikes Back.

For almost a week, we have let Emma cry herself to sleep. The typical bedtime routine is breast feeding, bath, bottle, and musical mobile. Then within five minutes I'm fast asleep. As for the kids, their routine mirrors mine.

There has only been two bad nights for Emma over the past six days: the first night and last night. The rest of time Emma has fallen asleep pretty fast and rarely with a fuss. Lisa and I both feel that she has been improving so we think this cry-it-out method is working.

I'll complete this trilogy of Emma's sleeping sometime this weekend. In the meantime, enjoy this video clip of Emma from last night.

Day 129 - Letter of Apology

If you recall the entry on Day 115 "Poor Andrew", I referred to Andrew's eye as his ass and his pink eye as anal warts. I did this to make sure my mom did not know that Andrew got pink eye, and it worked. To this day she still asks about his anal warts and reminds us to wipe gently and quickly.

Last week, Lisa spoke to her mom on the phone. At the end of the conversation, Grandma Ichinaga asked Lisa to tell me "...not to call Andrew's eye an ass." I never intended to offend Grandma Ichinaga, and this is why I want to write this letter of apology to her. The only problem I have is that I'm not very good at apologies. This is why I need to substitute a couple of words. As you read the letter of apology, the word "apology" will be replaced with the word "ass" and "remorse" with "anal warts." Thank you.

Dear Grandma Ichinaga,

I felt very bad after Lisa told me you didn't find the Andrew pink eye story that funny. So I am here to give you a big, fat ass.

Just as a quick back story, it's very difficult for me to express my feelings. You see, one night during my crazy college years I drank beers with my fellow Chess Club friends. I unfortunately drove home and was pulled over. I spent a night in the slammer and was a blithering, drunk idiot. I felt so guilty about what I did that I asked any one in the jail cell to accept my ass.

My annoying attitude in the slammer brought out the worst in a few fellow inmates. Four hulking men faced me and told me to shut up. I explained I would shut up as soon as someone would take my ass and treat it with respect. They answered that they would accept my ass...and beat it to a bloody pulp.

The men started beating on me over and over again. I screamed for help, but none came. After several minutes, they walked away laughing leaving me confused. I asked them if they felt any anal warts because I gave them my ass, but they ignored me. And from that day on, I have had a problem telling any friend or family member "I'm sorry."

But we all must grow up. So Grandma Ichinaga, I would like to say I'm sorry that you did not like me referring to Andrew's eye as his ass. I promise to grow up and show a little maturity. After all, there has to be a day when I have to stop being such an apologyhole.

Sincerely,

Scott

Day 128 - Poll Results & New Poll

With our leaky diaper woes, fifty percent of you suggested that we try a larger diaper. This past weekend we decided to purchase a box of size 3 diapers which Emma is currently wearing, but scrawny, non-Hispanic Andrew is still in size 2s. So far there hasn't been any leaky diapers to report. The diaper is quite large on Emma, but at the same time it's quite slimming! Perhaps during Lisa's pregnancy, she should have worn extra large socks to slim down her cankles.

As most of you know, we are currently in the midst of trying to get Emma to calm herself to sleep. Today is the fifth day of letting her scream her lungs out -- which she actually did the other night. Lisa and I believe there has been improvement with her, but it's probably still a little too early to jump for joy.

For this week's poll, I'd like to hear what you future and current parents would do if your baby had a problem falling to sleep.

Day 127 - Let Sleeping Babies Lie

As mentioned yesterday, we spoke to our pediatrician about developing good sleeping habits for the kids. Andrew is already a pretty decent sleeper. For the past few weeks, he has been sleeping between six and ten hours a night; sometimes longer with an Ambien. Quite often we'll walk to the crib in the morning and he'll be awake smiling and staring at the mobile

On the other hand, Emma is not a very good sleeper. We need to bounce her, rock her, shake her, yell at her, and plead with her. Many times when we think she's asleep, we'll place her in the crib and she'll start to cry immediately. Then we start the whole process over again with one difference: now we're crying.

There seems to be two basic lines of thinking when putting your baby to bed: soothe them when they cry or let them cry it out. The argument against soothing your baby in the middle of the night is that you spoil them and they are unable to learn to put themselves to sleep. Conversely, some people believe if you allow to let your baby cry themselves to sleep, you scar them and a lack of trust is established.

Before getting to what the good doctor told us to do, my opinion on this is based on one simple fact: THEY'RE FOUR MONTHS OLD. I'm not saying that babies are stupid and don't know anything (although find an adult who poops their pants and says "bababa" all day and we'll revisit this thought). All I'm saying is which ever line of thinking you take with sleeping, I think your baby is probably way too young to be affected negatively either way. Which means when your baby grows up he is neither going to be spoiled and expect a BMW nor is he going to be so pissed and want to run you over with a stolen BMW.

So what did our pediatrician suggest? After we told her our problem with putting Emma to sleep, she suggested that we let her cry it out. A few nights (or weeks? gulp...) of crying isn't going to damage our relation with Emma, and it will teach her to soothe herself to sleep. The doctor also suggested that we stop swaddling the kids and remove the sleep positioners from the crib. The main point she said regarding the cry-it-out method is to NOT pick her up at all. You can go in and visit and pat and massage and reassure, but do NOT pick her up. Which in and of itself is a blessing since she's such a heifer.

We've been trying this method for the past few nights with Emma. The first night she cried for over an hour. We would check her every 10-15 minutes just to pat her and tell her to shuddup. Then a little after an hour the crying stopped. We thought Andrew might've taken his bunny blanket and smothered her, but Emma was just in the crib staring at the mobile. And after another 5-10 minutes, she fell asleep.

On day two, she was a little fussy after her last feeding. We put her on a blanket in the living room while we were cleaning up and getting ready for bed. And the next thing we know she was asleep!

On day three, she was once again a little fussy (you see a pattern here?). After I calmed her down, I put her in the crib. And whatd'ya know? She fell asleep!

Today is day four, and Lisa is next to me holding her because she was a little...yes...fussy. It's a little past 11pm so hopefully we can calm her down and plop her in the crib

I grabbed my trusty video camera and took this little clip of what it is like for us every night. I decided to film the kids because I'm sure you're wondering how Andrew reacts to all of this crying since they still share a crib.

Day 126 - Hispanics Are Too Tall

We had our four month check-up this week with our pediatrician Dr. Osher. Our doctor just came back from her maternity leave this month. She had a baby girl a week after we had our twins.

The first thing the nurse did is weigh and measure the kids. Emma is 24 inches (long, not her waist) and 15 pounds 10 ounces; this puts her above average on the charts, but thankfully pretty proportional. As for Andrew, he is 23 1/2 inches (long, not his penis) and 14 pounds 5 ounces (his penis, not his body). Sadly, the chart puts Andrew in the 15th percentile for height and 30th percentile for weight. Our doctor told us that recently the charts changed in California with the height and weight percentiles increasing due to the large Hispanic population. Based on that, we are going to feed Andrew plenty of tortillas and have him eat anything that falls out of a pinata.

Both of the kids also like to turn their heads to the right. You can look at the back of their heads and see that their head is flatter on the right side. So we need to do these neck exercises with them every day. Basically we just need to pivot and twist their neck to the left several times. My suggestion was to velcro the left side of their heads to the crib, but Lisa just rolled her eyes and called me a dumbass.

The kids also got their second set of shots today for various diseases like diphtheria and tardiness (or was it retardiness?). It's sad to see your babies cry bloody murder when they get four needles pierced into their chubby little thighs. But to make them feel better, I shot myself up with heroin to set an example for them -- although I also cried afterwards because I thought a walrus was chasing me with a machete.

Lisa also had a long, long , long, long, long list of questions for the doctor. So long that we didn't leave from our 9am appointment until almost 10:30am. Most of the questions were probably standard questions that most parents have for their doctor. When should they start solid foods? Do we still need to swaddle them? What do we do about leaky diapers? What's the best way to hide cigar burns? Should we be afraid of social services?

One question that we had that I'll spend a little time talking about tomorrow is sleeping. Andrew has developed a pretty good sleeping schedule, but we have been struggling with Emma. So tomorrow I'll talk about what the good doctor suggested to make Emma a better sleeper!

Day 125 - Picture Friday!

"You droolin' on me? YOU droolin' on me? You droolin' on ME?"

Forget the face, look at the burp cloth! Ain't that the biggest burp bubble ever?

"I'm sorry...I thought this was a toilet."

"Yay! Daddy went back to work!"

"crapcrapcrapcrapcrap...there's a parrot on my shoulder...crapcrapcrapcrap..."

"I shwear officer (hic)...it waz jus' formoola dat I was drinkin' (burp)."

Who is Emma impersonating?

...that's right. Ernie the Keebler Elf!

Have a great weekend!

Day 124 - Beguiling Bride by Scott Ichikawa

I hope everyone enjoyed Lisa's blog entry as much as I did not.

That's right, you heard me. I did NOT enjoy the blog entry. Sure it was well-written and funny and accurately depicted me as "cute on sight" (although Lisa graciously omitted the words "by a blind person"). But here is why I did not enjoy the posting: Lisa was conning me!

I don't know how many of you have read the comments on Lisa's post, but by mid-afternoon you had the following:

mynameisanne (my sister) said...BEST BLOG ENTRY EVER IN THE UNIVERSE.

susan (Lisa's sister) said...WOW...what an amazing entry...I'm blown away!!!!

So I think to myself that maybe this will make Lisa do a few more blog entries. Good for her. Then a few hours later there was this comment:

sburr1 said...Who knew you were soooo funny!! You need to keep it up....

Wow. Another comment. Ever since I started the blog I was lucky to get 1 comment over a four week period, but never three in one day. I guess Lisa's writing struck a nerve. Another few hours she received MORE comments:

kevin said...Is it just me, or did the quality of the writing just improve immensely? More Pizza Pie!!!

kevin said...Pizza, You should post something funny with scott as the butt of the joke!!

First of all, don't give her any future blog ideas, Kevin. Secondly, it begun to strike me odd that so many people were commenting in one day. Could Lisa have been asking people to post comments? Nah.

But then there were these two last comments that made me think something weird was going on:

mrs. braverman said...All these years, I thought Scott was the funniest person in the world... boy, was I wrong -- it's his wife!

jesus christ said...Wow. Hilarious! Good job, Lisa -- you're going to heaven!

There's no way my high school teacher, Mrs. Braverman, knew anything about my blog. And it's even more ridiculous that Jesus Christ posted a comment because I know for a fact his MacBook Pro is in the shop.

So what's the deal? I'll tell you what the deal is. Lisa was conning me! All day today, she called and e-mailed her friends and family to post a comment to her entry describing how deliriously delightful it was. If I didn't figure this out today, she said she was going to leave messages with her co-workers and her former student's parents to post more comments. And as she was telling me this, she was laughing hysterically while breast feeding the kids which was rather unfortunate because the shaking of her body caused the kids to unlatch from her nipples creating a stream of breast milk to stain the sofa.

I guess the joke's on me then. All I can say after this experience is that both Lisa and I will live a very, very, very long time as evidenced by this article.

I'll post some pictures up tomorrow, and on Saturday I'll give you a summary of Andrew's and Emma's four month check-up which we had yesterday.

Day 123 - Blushing Bride by Lisa Ichikawa

It seems that the majority of you would like me to write about whether or not I get embarrassed by this blog. Are you freakin' kidding?! Who wouldn't be embarrassed when your husband writes, in detail, about aspects of your pregnancy that no one needs to know and you would like to forget? Most women are afforded the luxury of being able to block out all the bad stuff that happened to them when they were pregnant. Not only can I relive every moment by reading the blog, but I also get to have strangers come up to me and ask if I still have "cankles." (Thankfully it's not shorts weather yet.)

Anyone who knows Scott realizes that he likes to embarrass people. No one is exempt from his teasing, be it his parents, his sister Anne (pretzel maven), and even his sweet, gray-haired grandma. (Incidentally, he better watch out for grandma because I heard that she can carry a five pound bag of rice all the way from church to her home - several blocks - without breaking a sweat!) These people are blood relatives. They have no choice but to live with Scott's antics. I, however, married the guy. In other words, I knew what I was getting into, but decided to say "I do" anyway.

Over the years, many of you have asked, "Why?" Why submit yourself to such merciless taunts, such ruthless shenanigans? I stand by my answer: Scott makes me laugh. Yes, he's nice, and smart, and talented (enough already, Mrs. Braverman!) He's thoughtful, and C.O.S. (Cute On Sight, at least to some), and "deceptively strong." What gets me, though, is his sense of humor. The first time I ever spent a considerable amount of time alone with him, he made me laugh so hard that I almost peed my pants. It's 15 years later, and he still makes it necessary for me to wear Depends (and I'm not even embarrassed to admit it!)

Day 122 - Four Months Old (yesterday)

Over the past four months, I estimate that we have gone through approximately 2300 diapers. I also estimate that we have made about 1500 bottles of formula. Lastly, the kids have spent more time nuzzling Lisa's breasts than I ever have in my 15 years of knowing her. Enjoy the pictures!





Tomorrow Lisa will post her blog!

Day 121 - Poll Results & New Poll

Although I'm sure we'd all love Lisa to write an entry about the sexiness of Sonic the Hedgehog versus Mario the...err...Italian Lothario, the people have voted, and Lisa's next blog will be about whether or not she has been embarrassed by the blog. Hopefully Lisa will not be too cruel, but thankfully I have a prenup that will protect my assets (i.e. my Wii).

This week's poll pertains to what happened to Lisa today with the kids. Since Lisa returns to work next month, she decided to go to school to pick up some stuff from her classroom because today is a holiday. The kids were well-behaved, and the trip home was perfect because it was time for their next feeding. Lisa took Emma out of car seat and placed her on the sofa. As Lisa walked away, she smelled something foul. After ruling herself out, she picked Emma back up and discovered that poop seeped through three layers of clothing PLUS it was on top of the sofa. Lisa hurried Emma to the changing table, soaked the poopy clothes, gave a bath, and cleaned the sofa.

Thankfully, Andrew was sound asleep in the car seat this whole time. So Lisa finally had the time to get Andrew out and guess what? He also pooped through his diaper and all over his clothes! It was a total crap-tastrophe.

Lisa pleads with our loyal audience to give as a clue as to what she...err...we could be doing wrong. And if none of the options suit you, feel free to comment!

P.S. Today is Andrew and Emma's four month birthday! Will post some pictures up tomorrow.

Day 120 - Posting Update

Since I haven't been working due to the WGA strike, I've been able to spend a few moments everyday to update the blog. But sadly, the daily updates may be less frequent because I'm going back to work tomorrow for a few weeks. Boo! I'm also up for jury duty this week. Double boo!

I'll still make an effort to put a little something of interest every day, so keep visiting. And those days when I can't, I'm hoping Lisa will guest blog more frequently. Besides, she can type while she breastfeeds. Just keep the booby juice off the keyboard, Lisa

Day 119 - The Look of Love

When babies are born they aren't the most attractive things. Honestly, the chances of something cute coming out of a human vagina is pretty slim. I have read medical journals describing Sanrio figurines being extracted from a vagina, but even the attractiveness of a Chococat vibrator is relative.

When your kids first come out they are actually pretty disgusting. Dare I say repulsive? They're covered in blood and white slime, crying, shriveled, and screaming. Look at what Emma looked like when she came out of Lisa's tummy...


Not so cute, right? My theory is that babies are born out of this slimy, bloody mess so there's no where to go but up on the cuteness scale. It's like those really overweight people you see on the Discovery Health Channel who weigh over 500 pounds. At the end of the program, there's a follow-up and you see the 500+ pound person six months later after surgery, and they now weigh 350 pounds. You think to yourself, "Hey. That stout fella doesn't look that bad anymore!" Yet you forget that he still weighs THREE HUNDRED FIFTY POUNDS! So substitute the 350 pound dude with a one day old newborn, and you get my drift.

Where am I going with this? Well, we've been talking to friends and family who have been following the development of our little ones. Probably in the past month or so, there's one remark that we have been getting quite a bit. It goes like this: Emma is a lot cuter now.

Mind you, these are the same people who were saying how cute she was from the very beginning. I don't take any offense to their implication that Emma wasn't so cute because there were times when she looked like George Costanza. Look at Emma when she wasn't even a month old.

Not so cute, right? If it wasn't for her balding head, I'd say she was a dead ringer for the Nick Nolte mug shot.

So if you're a new parent there's a lot of insecurities and politeness going on in regards to the look of your child. For better or worse, nobody wants to have an ugly baby and nobody is going to say you have an ugly baby. But the great thing about having a baby is that no matter what they look like and how healthy they are, those things are put in the backseat by one thing: you love them. I'm sure the ugliest baby in the world was loved by his parents...although I'm sure the parents weren't much to look at either. And I'm sure the most unhealthy baby in the world was loved by his parents...although I'm sure the parents died really young and left their child to fend for himself in a jungle.

With that, I leave you with one last picture:

So cute, right?

Day 118 - Picture Friday

"Abby, try as much as you want, but there ain't no milk coming out of my finger."

"Whoa! Sorry. Didn't realize this was an Ichikawa only picture."

It has been a long time coming, but finally Lisa got pooped on again. I'd have to say diapers do their job of holding baby pee and poop 99% of the time. But sadly, there's that 1% that is shown above. This was a very bad poop-tastrophe because there was no way to pull her shirt over her head without spreading the chocolate pudding. But don't worry, Mom. We'll give her a bath tomorrow.

"I swear I didn't stab him!"


Have a great weekend!

Day 117 - The Other One Flips Us Off

The video speaks for itself...

Day 116 - Video Chats & Family Secrets

My dad purchased a laptop computer last month with a pre-installed web cam. Over the holidays, my sister (Auntie Anne, pretzel maven) and I showed my dad how to use it so he could video chat and see the babies. I know what you're thinking: You Japanese people don't instinctively know how to operate a web cam? Sorry to burst your stereotypical bubble, but we don't automatically know how to use every single electronic equipment. We instinctively know how to make them, but use them? Not quite there yet.

Over the past few weeks, Lisa and I have probably video chatted at least half a dozen times with my parents with pretty good success. Being the geek I am, I'm always aware of how I frame the kids. Should I do a wide shot because Andrew is kicking his feet? Or maybe I should move in because he's smiling? Oh crap! Emma's back in frame. Wide shot! And I must say it's pretty awkward trying to maneuver a laptop around like a video camera. It's similar to being a waiter and walking around with a serving tray. But instead of carrying glasses of $2.95 soda, you're dashing around with $1400 worth of circuitry. Mmm...circuitry.

As for the other side of the camera, my dad's laptop is propped on his desk like a stationary tripod. Granted I don't really need to see my dad's over sized glasses or my mom's hair in curlers, but 95% of the time I don't see anyone. If you think about it it's quite the accomplishment to be in front of a web cam yet not ever be in the shot. Maybe my parents are secretly Indians and are afraid their souls are going to be stolen.

And when I do see my mom, it's usually just a quick glimpse. Perhaps the top of her newly permed hair. Or a futile wave of a hand that will be unanswered. Even a blurred view of her running in the background like Bigfoot. You know what I'm talking about, right? This picture:

I swear that's what my mom looks like in the background. She's this gigantic swirl of freshly permed hair racing through the living room. The famous Patterson picture of Bigfoot fascinated me so much that I actually zoomed into the picture and had the computer interpolate the pixels around the face and lo and behold...

Call me crazy but my mom was alive in 1967 when the original Bigfoot photo came out. And while I'm at it I'll divulge an Ichikawa family secret: my mom gets her back waxed twice a week. You make the call.

Day 115 - Poor Andrew

NOTE: In order to make sure my mom doesn't know what's going on, I need to substitute a couple of words in this entry. So from here on out, the words "pink eye" will be substituted with the words "anal warts" and the word "eye" will be "ass". Thanks!

We've only been back from our Northern California tour for a full week and have finally settled back into a pseudo-schedule. As mentioned, we all caught a slight cold from my mom and just got over it towards the end of last week. But a few days ago, we noticed that Andrew's ass was a little goopy.

Every morning when Andrew would wake up, he would stretch and open his ass for us to see a trail of morning goop. We didn't think too much about it because when we brought him home from the hospital, he would have that same goopy ass, but we would just wipe it away with warm water and massage the corner of his ass gently.

But Lisa got a little concerned and read our baby books. They recommended that we call the doctor to make an appointment to be safe. So Monday morning, Lisa called our pediatrician and explained how Andrew's ass has been sticky and slightly crusty. A few hours later Lisa brought Andrew to the doctor's office.

The doctor saw Andrew immediately and took his basic vitals: lungs clean, nasal passage a little congested. He said that it looked like Andrew was just getting over a cold and it was fine. Then he took a look at Andrew's ass. First of all, Andrew has a very large ass; many people comment on it and how beautiful it is. Secondly, Emma must be jealous because Andrew has wonderfully long ass lashes; I'm sure that will get him the attention of the girls in school. It didn't take long for the doctor to look at Andrew's ass to determine he had anal warts.

When I found this out, I did my usual Google search on the topic of anal warts. Anal warts with newborns is very common and if untreated can lead to more serious complications. It can be caused by the same bacteria and viruses responsible for the common cold or other infections. Anal warts can also be caused by allergies. I'm not too sure how Andrew got anal warts since he wasn't around many people, so I'm assuming he might've gotten it from his cold.

So the doctor prescribed us some ass drops. We just have to put one drop in each ass three times a day. It's quite the chore trying to put the drops in his ass cause Andrew gets pretty antsy and angry about it. It ends up being a two person job: one person putting in the drops and the other spreading Andrew's ass open to make sure it doesn't close.

At least Andrew's ass is looking better already, and if anyone ever asks me how he got anal warts I'm going to tell them he got it from Grandma Ichikawa.

Day 114 - Poll Results & New Poll

Last week I asked whether Grandma Ichinaga should've been embarrassed about not buying $50 coffee beans. 91% of you believed she should have no reason to be embarrassed, while 9% thought otherwise. As for that one person who thought she should have bought the beans, how much coffee do you drink and how much stock do you have in Peet's Coffee?

You loyal readers already know my disappointment in Lisa's pithy blog entry. For those of you who missed it (and I don't blame you because it was so tiny), it was a brief entry about my birthday. I asked Lisa to write another entry, but she has no idea what it should be about. For this week's poll, I ask all of you to help Lisa figure out what to write about for her next adventure into blogging. Choose one of the preselected topics or just write your own suggestion in the comment area.

Day 113 - Holiday Ornaments

I was going to post this before we left for the holidays, but every year for the past seven years I have made holiday ornaments for the family. I usually buy a dozen photo frame ornaments at Michael's or Aaron Brothers, then I hit my drawing table and bang something out. The drawings were usually Lisa and I doing some sort of holiday thing. For instance, here's an ornament from 2005:

But since this is the first year with Andrew and Emma, I thought I would start doing ornaments about them. The 2007 ornament might be a collector's item because once Emma gets a little older, I think we will have to hide it from her:

Day 112 - Do Babies Dream Of Baby Sheep?

There are those times in the middle of the night when you're checking on your kid to make sure everything is okay. I'm not too sure why we as parents do that because I would think 99.9999% of the time they're fine and dandy. And for that .0001% of the time when they're not okay, I'm not quite too sure what else it could be except that they're dead. Not trying to be morbid here, but seriously folks, what else could it be? When your infant wants something they're going to cry their lungs out. And the rest of the time they're just staring or pooping. It's not like you're going to find them planning a bank heist or shooting up heroin.

For me, I usually pass by the crib just to see their calm, innocent faces before I mess up their formative years as an embarrassing father. The thing that strikes me most when I look at them is the type of faces they make. Sometimes they might be smiling, giggling, pouting, or mouthing the words "I hope I don't look like Dad when I grow up." But with all of that expression, what are they thinking about?

I always assumed infants must dream because if they're sleeping 14-16 hours a day something better be going on in that noggin' or else I want my sperm back. So I jumped on the internet (or as my mom calls it "the typewriter tv") and did a little reading about babies and dreaming.

A doctor at the Center for Sleep Medicine in New York believes babies dream because they go through REM (rapid eye movement) sleep like adults. And since REM sleep is when adults are most likely to dream, the doctor presumes the same goes for babies. As for U2 sleep, that is when adults are most likely to dream of social activism through fame, especially in Africa.

But what babies dream of is up for grabs. Nobody really knows what they dream of so my guess is as good as any fancy pants doctor's speculation. The highly paid and educated doctor at the Center of Sleep says that "...babies dream of infantile things." I'd have to believe him because he has written articles in the New England Journal of Medicine such as "Sleep Deprivation Produces Drowsiness" and "Cows Dream of Bovine Things."

What this boils down to for me is that although our kids aren't even four months old, there's a lot of activity going on in their brains. Those heads are like 7-11s: open 24/7 and they speak a language foreign to the rest of us. It's a big mystery what exactly they're thinking and dreaming about, but as long as their little faces are smiling more often than not I guess we're not screwing up too much.

Day 111 - Picture Friday!

Andrew growls like Chewbacca as Emma finishes eating her two Cinnabons that were attached to the side of her head.

I'm not too sure why Lisa took this picture of Emma with dried boogies hanging from her nose, but I suppose it's not as bad as me posting it for everyone to see.

"Yay! We killed a ghost!"

"Why must you mock my inability to cook?"

Andrew's first impersonation: Herve Villechaize with a moustache.

Day 110 - What's Up With Emma?

Last week I posted some pictures of Andrew doing some of his daily activities. Since then several people have inquired about the pictures of Emma doing her daily activities. To that I have a couple of responses:

1. Don't be so impatient.
2. It's only a blog.
3. Here are your pictures.
4. Go to hell.

8:45am
Each morning, Emma tickles the ivory while she tinkles her pants.

10:15a
Emma weight trains every other day to build up the muscles needed to lift heavier foods to her mouth like drumsticks, beef ribs, and cow.

2:30p
Immediately after her afternoon nap, she helps around the house vacuuming in areas that mommy and daddy can't reach like corners and our asbestos-covered attic.

6pm
Emma enjoys eating an entire rotisserie chicken before her main course.

7:30p
Before hitting the sack, there's always a little time for appliance climbing.

Day 109 - Flipping Me Off

While in Santa Clara, we had Andrew and Emma on a play mat in front of the television. Andrew has a fascination with the boob tube, much like Emma has a voracious appetite for Lisa's boob. Since Andrew wasn't in front of the television set, he was trying to get a better angle. As he was raising his head, we saw him flip over on his back! You never saw such excitement over such a mundane action. I'm on my ass all day, and when I stand up I don't get smiles and applause.

So the other day, the kids were doing tummy time again and Lisa said she thought Andrew was about to turn over again. So I grabbed my trusty camera and recorded this momentous occasion. I even got some action of Emma attempting to turn over too.




As for Lisa's blog, I am sure you are as disappointed as I am with such a short entry. I am going to challenge Lisa to do a longer one this week. What you think people?

Day 108 - Scott's Birthday by Lisa Ichikawa

Hi, my name is Lisa Ichikawa. You may know me from previous blog entries in which Scott has commented on the size of my ankles (Week 22), described in detail my bout with hemorrhoids (Week 30), and laughed while the kids pooped on me (Day 12).

Scott has graciously allowed me to a guest blogger so that I can share some pictures from his birthday. Let it be known that past birthday celebrations have been extravagant affairs. Dinner at French restaurants, cupcakes from Sprinkles - only the best for Scotty! Now that we have kids, though, we have had to scale back somewhat. This year it was Mexican food, and the cupcakes were courtesy of Duncan Hines. Enjoy the pics!