Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Day 1224 - Crazy Grandma Ichikawa Storytime

What do you get when you combine the Middle East riots, Lindsey Lohan shoplifting, and Watson on Jeopardy? Why you obviously get another edition of...Crazy Grandma Ichikawa Storytime!

I was talking to Crazy Grandma on the phone about the kids and how they are handling preschool. Crazy Grandma was glad to hear the kids were doing well and told me that I should dress them warmly, pack healthy lunches that should be prepared the night before, remind the kids to wash their hands at school, instill good manners, have them make friends with the nice children, and make sure they change their clothes when they return home. But she reminded me these are only suggestions based upon having raised two children already.

Crazy Grandma told me that there was nothing good to watch on television so they were going to watch a movie from Netflix. She couldn't remember the name of the movie and the actor's name on the tip of her tongue.

"I dunno wha movie we watch, but it with dat f*ck actor," said Crazy Grandma.

Excuse me? Crazy Grandma say what? "What did you say?" I asked.

"You know dat guy. Dat guy in all those f*ck movies," clarified Crazy Grandma.

First of all, I feel uncomfortable hearing my mom say the f-word. Secondly, I feel really uncomfortable hearing her suggest that she might be a fan of pornography.

"Mom, are you saying the f-word?" I asked.

"No no no! I no say dat word. Dat guy! Dat guy who keep on making f*ck movies," said Crazy Grandma with growing impatience.

She called out to Lazy Grandpa. "Honey! Honey! Who dat guy in dah movie we see tonight? Oh yah. Ben Stiller."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Are you talking about the movie Meet the Fockers?"

"Yah! Those f*ck movies," said Crazy Grandma.

I didn't have the energy to correct Crazy Grandma's pronunciation. All I could think was, "What the f*ck..."

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