Sunday, November 2, 2008

Day 406- Don't Touch that Button!

There are a couple of spots on the human body that make me uncomfortable: armpits and the belly button. It's a pretty irrational repulsion, but I have it nonetheless. Just trying to find an image of a belly button for this entry made me feel weird. Not if I were talking about testicles that would be a whole other thing. Testicles are nature's pendulum clocks.

I bring up my uneasiness about belly buttons because both Emma and Andrew find them fascinating. One day while lying on the floor, Emma walked up to me and flopped herself on top of my body. She then lifted my t-shirt and began to poke at my flab...err...six pack. Her index finger suddenly entered my belly button, and I freaked out.

"No!" I told Emma. "Don't poke my belly button!"

Emma just laughed at me; she must've learned this response from Mommy. Then Andrew walked over to see what was going on. He dropped to the floor and began to poke around at my belly button too.

"Andrew! Stop!"

Now both of them laughed at me; they must've learned this response from my immediate family. I gave up and stood up.

The problem for me is that they continue to do this to me. I pretty much stopped lying down on the floor, but this hasn't stopped them from trying to get to my belly button. If they're sitting on my lap, they'll try to pull up my shirt. If I'm sitting on the floor, they'll do the same thing.

What's the fascination with my belly button? There's absolutely nothing special about it. If anything, I wouldn't stick a finger in there for health reasons. I have no idea what's in there. My belly button is an inny, and I don't know the last time I went poking around. For all I know there might be a small colony of feral kittens shacking up ( belly button goes pretty deep.).

I truly hope the kids stop this behavior. I figure I need to be nonreactive when they probe the button because they're probably enjoying the reaction. All I can say is that they better not find out my fear of wedgies because I may have to disown them at that point.

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