Day 371 - Birthday Recap

It has been one week since the kids had their first birthday party. And it has been one year since I've had a good sleep.

When people ask me what the last year has been like, I've told them it has been both slow and fast. There are times - especially in the beginning - when you wonder when this routine of sleep, poop, pee, and eat will end. You become this robot slave to the primal needs of these little blobs. But you can only wish you were a robot because at least a robot can function without sleep (screensavers don't count!).

But once the first year hits you wonder how these little poop machines have become these more human-like poop machines. Was it really just a year ago when little Emma was pooping all over Lisa's clothes? Was it really just a year ago when Andrew peed all over Lisa's face? Was it really just a year ago when Lisa kicked Scott in the balls for laughing at her? Where did the time go? Where did my balls go?

Most of you know I was not the biggest fan of throwing a sizable birthday party for the kids. My idea of the party was probably just a dozen people and a cake. Lisa's idea of the party was inviting 3 dozen friends and family members and serving a buffet table of food. Guess who won the argument? One hint: this person has a vagina. Wait a second...let me be more specific with the hint: this person has a larger vagina.

So Lisa got her way and we embarked upon this birthday party adventure. I'm not too sure why, but I've never been a big birthday party person. It could be the fact that I have few friends and my insecurity issues temper my urge to invite people for fear of rejection and abandonment which would in turn erode my already fragile ego. Not that I've really thought about this, but that is just one idea.

My big motto for this party was simplicity. I knew I would be in the middle of production for my television pilot, and Lisa would be just a few weeks into teaching her new kindergarten class. We would purchase most of the food, favors, and keep the decorations to a minimum. And despite my insistence of simplicity, we were still up until 2am the day before the party getting things ready.

My big mistake was volunteering to make these little DVD favors featuring the kids. Since the theme of the party was movies, I thought I would just edit together all of the videos I've posted on the blog the past year and burn it. No big deal right? I spent maybe thirty or forty minutes editing the piece together and started to burn it. All I had to do was burn 16 DVDs for the party. Unfortunately I did not take into account that each 15 minute DVD would take about 20 minutes to burn. So it took almost 5 1/2 hours to finish burning all of the DVDs. That's right. Let's say it all together: Scott, you're a dumbass.

But the party came together just fine and I think everyone had a good time. Sure it was exhausting and I was a walking zombie when I went to work on Monday, but the first birthday party only comes once. I'm not too sure if that's even a valid explanation because every birthday just comes once so what the hell am I trying to say? I guess what I'm trying to say is that despite my bah humbug attitude, I'm glad we did the birthday party the way we did it. So thanks to everyone and hope you enjoyed it because this ain't happening next year (Hey! My explanation was valid! I do know what I'm saying!).