And now another edition of...
CRAZY GRANDMA ICHIKAWA STORYTIME!
I've mentioned before how my parents are renting my friend's place while she is working out of town. I thought it would be a great match because my friend is very neat and my mom is very very neat. Between the two of them dust bunnies won't have a chance to thrive.
But what I thought would be a heavenly pairing has turned into a bit of a paranoid and tense situation for my mom. Because my friend is neat, my mom wants to make sure everything is perfect when she leaves. And this is causing a considerable amount of bad luck and stress for my mom.
Earlier this week, my friend told me she had a potential renter for her place after my parents leave. So I told my parents that this person was going to come see the apartment on Wednesday between 7-8pm. To a normal person, this would not be a big deal. But to Crazy Grandma Ichikawa, this meant she needed to clean the place.
After my parents finished babysitting the kids on Wednesday, my mom returned to their place to tidy up the condo. She put away all of the clutter, she vacuumed, she dusted, she made sure the bathroom and bedroom looked neat and organized. I wouldn't be surprised if she used a toothbrush around the inside of the toilet bowl. It probably took her at least an hour or so to make the condo presentable for this person.
Well guess what. She never showed up.
My dad was IMing me while the news arrived of this person bailing. The conversation went a little something like this:
scottonewa: So I heard the person didn't show up.
pimpdawgichikawa: yup. mom is mad. mad mad mad. not happy. mad. mad mad.
Seriously. My dad typed the word 'mad' at least eight times. And I could totally see my mom angry and saying incorrect colloquialisms.
"Oh. I'm as mad as a horny nest! I'm starch raining mad! This woman starting off on the wrong food."
But the thing that makes this funny is that on top of this, all of these other things have been happening to my mom at my friend's place. For instance when my mom was cleaning up the bathroom to get ready for this potential renter, my mom dusted this glass jar full of little soap bars. When she put the glass lid back on the jar, the lid cracked! So my mom freaked out and called me.
"Oh no! Scotty! I dink I cracked a jar in dah bathsroom!"
So now my mom is going to go to Cost Plus or something other store to buy a new jar for my friend.
Another time, my mom closed the fridge door shut. And then a few seconds later a bottle rolled off the top of the fridge and fell to the floor.
"Oh no! Scotty! I dink I closed dah weefridgahwaytah and den a bottle fell from dah ceiling!"
Thankfully, the bottle didn't break. But the bottle has now found a new home on top of the counter and not the fridge.
The result of all of this bad luck from my mom is that my parents have began to eat all of their food off paper plates. My mom only has a few weeks left here in Los Angeles, and she swears she's going to leave the condo in the exact same condition it was in when they started living there.
Or as my mom would say, "Dah day I leave a place dirtier is dah day when Hell fajitas over."
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