Day 829 - This Is a Test...Only a Test

Who ever came up with the phrase "age of innocence" obviously never had to deal with two year olds. Sure, the kids don't know anything about sex, violence, or Charlie Sheen (which coincidentally accounts for the first two!), but behind their wide-eyed looks of wonder is a mind that can be evil and downright awful.

There was a time when we knew the kids didn't know what the words "no", "don't", and "get the f*&k away from that" meant. But now the kids understand and say quite a bit so there's not really any excuse why the kids should not listen to us when we ask them not to touch dangerous objects like fire, broken glass, and skanky prostitutes.

I know what you're thinking. You're saying, "Scott, I know your intellect, style, and hairy knees are vastly superior to mine, but kids will be kids." And that is true. The kids are at a vital stage in their development. It is up to Lisa to teach the kids right from wrong, and it is up to me to teach the kids the opposite.

But I've got to tell you. There are times when we are trying to tell the kids not to do something, and they just ignore us. The worst part of it is that they are screwing around with our minds. Emma and Andrew totally know they shouldn't be doing something, but they continue to do it because they enjoy seeing their parents get riled up.

For instance, Emma was taking a bath today, and she spilled a cup of water out of the tub and onto Lisa. Lisa told her not to do that. Emma stopped, thought about it, and did it again. I walked in to check on what the commotion was about, and Lisa told me Emma dumped water on her shirt twice. After thinking about it, I told Emma to do it again since Lisa's shirt wasn't completely see-thru yet.

Honestly, I find it quite frustrating that parents must try to watch their temper and nurture their patience with their children. Why can't we just teach our kids that if you piss us off, we're going to piss right back? I suppose that isn't the right message we want to instill in our kids, but must I be emasculated even more by being bossed around by two 2 year olds? It's worse enough that Lisa makes me wear a dress around the house.