Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Day 562 - Crazy Grandma Ichikawa Storytime

It's time to curl up next to your padded wall because here's another edition of...Crazy Grandma Ichikawa Storytime!

Last weekend, I gave Emma and Andrew a haircut. Emma was starting to look like Cousin It, and Andrew's do was so out of control it looked like Ed Asner's back hair after a shiatsu massage.

Each time I give the kids a haircut, I feel a little more confident in my ability. I'm starting to cut Emma's bangs straight on my first try, and I'm using the electric razor with more skill on Andrew's head. The best part of all is that the carpet isn't stained with blood from sloppy scissor handling.

When Crazy Grandma saw the kids after their haircut, she was very surprised that I did such a good job.

"Did ewwwww doooo dis? Wow! You rike a profishunal bahber!" exclaimed Crazy Grandma. "You give SUPAH cuts! Git it? SUPAH cuts! Hahahahaha!"

For once, Crazy Grandma didn't have anything to criticize or complain about. You must understand that Crazy Grandma always has something to say. Even on the most perfect and joyous of days, Crazy Grandma can zero in on something that's not quite right. For instance, on the day that Emma and Andrew were born only Crazy Grandma noticed that Lisa could've used a bikini wax.

While I have been basking in my glory, my sister broke the news to me today that Crazy Grandma has been secretly criticizing the haircut I gave Andrew! For the past few days, Crazy Grandma was telling Lazy Grandpa and Auntie Anne (pretzel maven) how terrible Andrew looks and how important it is to take him to a "profishunal bahber" to fix the mess.

To top it all off, Crazy Grandma said, "Yu know who Andrew rooks rike now? He rooks rike Hitler!"

What a ridiculous comparison. If you look at the pictures, Hitler clearly parts his hair from the right and Andrews parts it from the left. Now who's the crazy one, Crazy Grandma?

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