Over three hours, Lisa and I did the following: picked up the family portrait photos, shopped for our nieces and nephews at Target, went to Circuit City to buy a new printer, did a stop at Aaron Brothers to buy holiday ornaments, ate a turkey and avocado sandwich at Togos, picked up more photos at Costco as well as some baby necessities (i.e. diapers, wipes, blu-ray movies), bought groceries at Ralphs, and dropped off several bags of clothes at Goodwill. WHEW!
And because of this exhausting marathon of shopping, the best I can do today are some random weekend tales for today's blog entry.
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We were watching the movie "Step Brothers" at home with my parents. My mom has seen Will Farrell comedies before, but I think this one was a little too far off base for her tastes. It might just be me -- please tell me if I'm wrong -- but I think my mom MIGHT'VE been offended by the scene when Will Farrell plays the drums with his testicles. Like I said I might be wrong...I'm just guessing here folks.
At one point -- maybe the testicle scene -- my mom said, "I don't get dis movie!" Right after she said that, Will Farrell said the f word. To which she answered, "Well I get dat! I know what dat word means. I even know how to spell it! F-U-*-K! F-U-*-K! F-U-*-K!"
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-At Togos, we were caught behind the most high maintenance woman ordering a sandwich. It went something like this...
"Hi, I'd like a turkey and swiss sandwich on wheat bread. Could I have the larger half of that loaf? Can you spread out the turkey evenly across the sandwich? Another piece of cheese, thanks. Do you have baked potatoes? You only have one left? Can I see it? Are you sure that's the only one? It's a little small. I don't want it. How about chili? I'll take a small chili. Too much cheese. Take some off. Just a little bit of onions. A little bit more...more...more...more...STOP! Do you have any balsamic vinegar for the sandwich? Are you sure that's balsamic vinegar? Are you sure? Really? Ok, but can you shake the bottle more?"
At this point, a man behind me went "...oy..." This caused the woman to stop her order, turn her head towards the man with her head tilted in a condescending way, and say, "You know what? You can wait. You...can...wait."
...and then the man stabbed her to death with a spork.
*****
-I was playing with the kids, and Emma started to pick her nose. I told Emma not to pick her nose. She laughed. I turned my head, and I saw that Andrew started to pick his nose. I asked Andrew not to pick his nose, but all he did was laugh. Now both kids were picking their nose and laughing. I wanted to laugh, but instead I put on my serious face and said in a stern voice, "Do NOT pick your nose." The kids stopped, looked at each other, and proceeded to pick each other's nose.
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