Day 441 - Call Me Irresponsive

Almost every day since I returned to work, I call home around 1pm to see how my parents and the kids are doing. Most of the time the report I get is whether or not they pooped, how long of a nap they took, and if they have been well-behaved. And I'm just talking about my parents!

The point of the phone conversation that has become awkward for me is when my mom puts the kids on the phone. At first I thought it was kinda cute, but now I'm not too sure what to think about it. The daily conversation goes a little like this...

CRAZY GRANDMA
...and dat why you should use q-tip to clean around sink. Oh! Let me put Andrew on phone!

SCOTT
That's okay, mom.

CRAZY GRANDMA
An-doo! An-doo! Guess who on phone. It...DADDY! DADDY DADDY DADDY!

SCOTT
...hi...

ANDREW
(silence)

SCOTT
...um...what's up...son?

ANDREW
(silence)

CRAZY GRANDMA
Say hi to...DADDY! DADDY DADDY DADDY! Scotty! Talk to him! Say someting!

SCOTT
umm...how about those...gas prices?

ANDREW
bah bah.

CRAZY GRANDMA
Okokok. Dat enouf.

SCOTT
Well, I got to go. I'll talk to...

CRAZY GRANDMA
NO! You talk to Emma now! Emma...guess who on phone? It...DADDY DADDY DADDY!

SCOTT
...err...hi...emma

EMMA
(eats)

SCOTT
So...what you...doing?

EMMA
(burps)

CRAZY GRANDMA
Ok! Say bye bye now. SCOTTY! Say bye bye!

SCOTT
bye bye.

ANDREW/EMMA
(silence)

CRAZY GRANDMA
Ok! I go clean bathrooms now. Bye!

I don't know if the kids recognize my voice on the phone because all they want to do is to press all of the buttons and try to hang up on me. Come to think of it...maybe they do recognize my voice after all then. I just feel weird talking to someone on the phone when I'm met with nothing but silence. Much like the awkward silence I get from Lisa when I ask her if she regrets marrying me.

I'm sure these pointless conversations will continue with Emma and Andrew, but who knows. Maybe they do recognize my voice and enjoy it. Without praising myself too much, I do have a very nice voice. I was once told during my musical theater days that I have a voice that sounds like two of our foremost musical talents of the 20th Century: Carol Channing and Tom Petty. Hopefully the kids will be blessed with my vocal talent.