Thursday, November 18, 2010

Day 1134 - Define Stupid


[stoo-pid, styoo] adjective, -er, -est, noun
1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question.
3. Scott Ichikawa

This morning, I made a bad situation worse.

It was a normal morning of dreaded anticipation of the kids waking up. As soon as I hear the kids start to whine, I down the remainder of my coffee, put down the paper, and flush the toilet (Yah, so...I like to spend my mornings on the crapper.).

As I began to change Andrew's clothes, Andrew noticed a mole on my arm. Andrew likes to call it a "dot" which is much more preferred over what he used to call it: melanoma. So I pointed to a little mole that was on Andrew's leg.

Emma wanted to join in on the fun, so she started to look for moles on Andrew's body. It was like a dermatologist convention. When Emma was just about to give up hope, she announced with excitement, "Look! I found some!" Emma pointed at Andrew's nipples.

I told Emma that those were not dots. I guess Emma knew that because she replied back, "I know. Those are Andrew's boobies!"

Sigh. The word boobies again. Pretty soon Emma and Andrew were saying "boobies" more times than I've seen boobies in my life; they said it 3 times.

I tried to stop the gigglefest by explaining to Emma that those were not Andrew's boobies because boys do not have boobies. My explanation went further when I began to say, "Those are actually called nip..." And then I stopped because I realized the word "nipples" isn't any better than "boobies".

But I should've finished my sentence because Emma said, "Those are nips?"

GOOD GOING, SCOTT! I've just created a racist. Pretty soon, she'll be doing hate crimes against herself.
"One nip. Two nip," Emma counted.

REALLY GOOD GOING, SCOTT! Might as well have Emma say hello to Manzanar now!

Without making a bigger deal than it already was in my mind, I told Emma that those things on Andrew's chest are not called nips. So when she asked me what they were called, I said the only thing I could say.

"They're called boobies."

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