Sunday, November 21, 2010

Day 1137 - Conversations with Andrew

After dinner, the kids expect dessert. Dessert to them is anything sweeter than their dinner, so we try to keep it as healthy as possible. Some examples of their dessert is sliced apples, toddler crackers, or 1/2 a bag of cane sugar.

One dessert that the kids really enjoy is yogurt. The other night, I asked the kids whether or not they wanted broccoli or yogurt for dessert. After being assaulted with toddler obscenities such as Mothergooser, I relented and got a carton of yogurt out of the fridge.

But Andrew was very adamant that he was not going to get any broccoli. "No broccoli! Yogurt! I want yogurt!" he demanded. Does he not yet understand that the more angry you get at Daddy, the more sarcastic and a-holey Daddy is going to get?

So as a joke, I emptied out the yogurt container and put a piece of broccoli into it. I walked up to Andrew and asked if he wanted to spoon out the rest of the yogurt.

"I want yogurt! I want yogurt!" he screamed with delight.

I took a spoon and started to scrape the inside of the yogurt cup. Andrew's eyes widened as he anticipated a scoop of delicious, creamy strawberry yogurt. Well, imagine his horror when all that came out of the yogurt cup was a gigantic broccoli crown.

"No no no! No broccoli!" he screamed with anger.

"Are you sure you don't want this?" I teased Andrew as I hovered the spoon of broccoli around his face.

"I no want it! I want yogurt! No broccoli! AHHHHHH!!!!"

With Andrew's patented scream, I decided I should stop the teasing and give the kids their bowl of yogurt. After I placed Andrew's bowl of yogurt in front of him, he just looked at me with his furrowed brow and grumbled, "Why you so crazy for, Daddy?"

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