Thursday, May 27, 2010

Day 961 - Bothersome Balloons

I don't know what it is about balloons, but people sure do like giving them to kids. The kids get a haircut, the stylist gives the kids a balloon. You go to the grocery store, the cashier gives the kids a balloon. You runaway from a scary homeless person, the vagrant tries to give the kids a balloon (Although to be fair, what we thought was a balloon was actually a severed cat head.).

Honestly, life would be a lot more simpler and stress-free if people did not give our kids balloons. There are so many things to contend with when the kids get a balloon. You need to make sure the balloon is tied tight enough so it doesn't fly away. You have to explain constantly that a balloon is not something you bite. You must listen to the whining and crying when the balloon loses its helium, pops, or gets eaten.

The most annoying thing is having to drive home with balloons floating around the car. The other weekend, the kids got some balloons when we were shopping at a children's store. While driving home, the balloons kept on floating into the front of the car. I had to slap the balloons towards the back of the car. Then the balloons got into the back of the car so the kids started to cry because they couldn't reach the balloons. To fix that, I began to break repeatedly so the balloons would start to float towards the front of the car again. On top of it all, my erratic driving reinforced the stereotype of bad Asian drivers for another three decades.

Lisa had an interesting conversation with Emma as her balloon began to lose its helium.

"Oh no," said Emma. "My balloon not fly!"

Lisa explained, "That's what happens with balloons. When a balloon loses its helium, it doesn't fly anymore. Do you have helium inside you?"

"Not in my bottom, " responded Emma.

"Do you want helium inside you?" asked Lisa.

"I don't want to fly," stated Emma.

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