Day 707 - Is There Another Doctor in the House?

With the combined efforts of Lisa taking care of the kids and my can-do-an-unexceptional-job attitude, I rented a Rug Doctor and cleaned our condo. I didn't go through the effort of moving all of our furniture because...well...I'm weak and effeminate. But I cleaned as much of our carpet as possible and the result was pretty good.

Although I was skeptical that the cleaning solution was non-toxic, I drank half a bottle and am alive to tell about it. The instructions recommended keeping pets, babies, and mammals out of the area during the cleaning because the Rug Doctor would pull up a lot of dust and possible allergens from the floor. Lisa took the kids out of the house while I carpet cleaned the rooms. I suggested to Lisa that although it was thoughtful of her to put the kids outside, it would be an even better idea if she went outside also to supervise them. Grumpily, Lisa put down her vodka and agreed.

After a handful of hours of moving furniture, vacuuming, and cleaning the carpets, I finished my job. Although it was pretty tiring, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was a good enough experience that I would not hesitate to do this again in another 24 months.

For Labor Day, we invited friends over for lunch. I was quite pleased with the way our place looked like because it looked pretty damn clean. Or at least I had to rationalize to myself that the hours of work made it look pretty damn clean. As our friends talked and I thought to myself how wonderfully clean the carpet feels on my bare feet, I heard our friend tell her husband these five words: The baby pooped on you.

My friend, Bernard, had their newborn son in a Baby Bjorn and somehow their kid pooped all over his shirt, his pants, and...yes...the floor. Son of a bjotch! It really wasn't a big deal at all because who hasn't pooped on their own carpet at least once in their life (Lisa: 7x). But there was something a little depressing about knowing there was baby poop on our newly cleaned carpet. For once in my life, I wished the baby pooped on our sofa.