Day 728 - Cartoon Wednesday

Day 727 - Zoo Day

Yesterday, Lisa had the day off because it was Yom Kippur. I wish the Japanese had a national holiday, but all we're known for here in America is December 7th -- Pearl Harbor Day. This day is also known to me as Today I Am Chinese Day.

Since we all had a free day, Lisa and I decided to take the kids to the Los Angeles Zoo. We've never taken them to the zoo yet because we felt it was important that the kids had a sophisticated understanding about the reason why wild animals were kept captive in...umm. Oh hell, we were just too cheap and lazy.

We only spent a few hours at the zoo, but that was more than enough time. Despite Emma's freak out at the flamingos, the kids had a pretty good time. There were just a few things that could've made the visit better. First, the zoo is not stroller friendly. I forgot how many hills and dips there were at the Los Angeles Zoo. I felt so sorry for Lisa because she had to push the kids around the entire day (Hey! I couldn't do it because I was taking pictures! Leave me alone...).

Also, it was very difficult to see the animal exhibits from a stroller because the fences and the shrubs interfered with the kids' sight line. For instance, it would've been so much more enjoyable for the kids if we were able to push the stroller up to a lion instead of being 50 feet back behind a moat and trees. Silly zoo designers.

I'm sure you're saying to yourself, "Boy. Lisa is so lucky to have such a wonderfully sexy husband like Scott." That is true. You may also be thinking to yourself, "Why didn't they just take the kids out of the stroller?" That is true, too. But if you want to chase after two year old twins who think they have mastered the art of running, be our guest. I actually saw a young toddler fall hard on a concrete curb at the zoo. I bent down next to Emma and said, "See. That's why you need to be in your stroller sometimes. Do you understand?" And with her knowledgable eyes, Emma replied, "I want cookie."

Finally, two year olds will only be entertained by zoo animals for a certain amount of time. And that amount of time is usually not worth the price of admission. Sure it was great to expose them to something different, but do you want to know what they were most entertained by at the zoo? Waterfalls. That's right. Ignore the majestic gorillas, the regal lions, and the fat assed hippos. But take a gander at the way that water falls to the ground. The only thing that might've been better than water would've been an empty cardboard box exhibit.

Overall, the weather was nice, the zoo wasn't crowded, and none of us were eaten by wild animals or zombies. Here's a short video of our day at the zoo!

Day 726 - Poll Results & New Poll

Last week, I asked what you would like to wish Emma and Andrew on their second birthday. Eighty-one percent wished them happiness, good health, and blah blah blah. Twelve percent hoped the kids would receive many material possession and spit in the face of this recession. And a lonely six percent thought all of the birthday money should go to me...Scott...the greatest Dad in this house.

I suppose it was awfully nice that many of you hoped the kids would continue to be happy and healthy and blah blah blah. So thank you for those sentiments. Unfortunately, I forgot to mention in last Monday's entry that this poll would be scored much akin to golf or one's cholesterol test: the lowest score wins. Minutes after I finish this entry, I'm racing over to Best Buy and buying myself the most hi-definitionest television with a whopping $175! See ya suckers!

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When I was two years old, the closest thing I had to a personal computer was an abacus. It wasn't until I was in middle school when my family got our first computer: the Commodore 64. The specs for it were amazing! It could display SIXTEEN colors. The memory was a stunning 64 KB. Plus we also purchased the state of the art Commdore Datasette 1530 which used ordinary cassette tapes as a storage device. The datasette was so fast that it would only take thirty minutes to load a large program. Eat that Steve Jobs and your lame iMacs!

Obviously, times have changed. Around our house, the computer is still off limits to the kids. There are times when they'll sit on my lap and look at family photos or google dirty words, but we don't let them touch the computer. But I was at the Apple Store recently and noticed computer programs for kids as young as two years old. Are we really suppose to teach our kids to use a computer that young? And are we really suppose to trust our kids to play with something that costs a thousand dollars? What do you think?

Day 725 - Bipolar Breakfast

When I'm at home with the kids, I try to be a good dad. Admittedly, I'm not perfect -- mostly because of the drugs, alcohol, and my collection of feral lions. But I hope I maintain a fair balance between being entertaining and effective as a father.

While making breakfast for the kids one morning, I thought I would make them Mickey Mouse pancakes. The pancakes themselves looked rather naked, so I washed some blueberries and apples and created this delectable treat:


Pretty damn cute! So cute that's why I have this picture. I grabbed my camera and took this picture so I could show Lisa when she got home from work. As I sat proudly at the dining table watching the kids gobble up Mickey's face, something hit me. Why did I get so giddy about these pancakes? What the hell happened to me?

One minute I was stoked about my breakfast, and the next I was depressed. I started to recollect a time when I didn't even know how to make a pancake...and I was proud of it! Breakfast was a pop tart and a can of soda: the breakfast of true champions! But look at me now...taking photos of beheaded rodent pancakes. My testicles have disappeared.

For a few minutes, I sat quietly at the table trying to sort things out. There's certainly nothing shameful about being a stay-at-home dad, but has the person I used to be two years ago disappeared? Today, I am a geeky, nonathletic, bespectacled dweeb. Two years ago, I was a...umm...well...let's just continue on reading, shall we?

But I realized I am not the same person I was two years ago. I have two kids. And whether you like it or not, things are going to change. Your priorities shift as much as your waistline. So no need to be ashamed about cartoon pancakes, goofy dancing, or paying off people to tell you you're a great father. Just looking at the kids smiling at their breakfast made me realize two things: being a dad is great, and I better not forget to take my lithium the next time.

Day 724 - Freedom of Feces

As a parent, you give up many of your freedoms. You no longer have your freedom of speech because you are unable to speak what's on your mind. For instance, if your kid accidentally sets fire to your left forearm, you're suppose to tell your kid you shouldn't play with matches or set people's appendages on fire, and then give the kid a hug. You can't say, "You f*#^ing a$$cun@! My f&*#ing arm is on fire, you sh*#!" You also no longer have the freedom of want because every single dime you make goes towards the kids. Goodbye, HD camcorder. Hello, piece of crap dollhouse that took me half a day to assemble.

And finally this brings me to the freedom of fear. I know this sounds strange, but I have a thing about pooping. Poop time is a very private and sacred time for me. I enjoy using this time to curl up with a good book and relax. And it's not as easy as it seems -- have you tried curling up on a toilet?

As strange as it may seem, I never had to contend with the kids bothering me during my poop time. But for the past week, my ass alarm has been set to 9am which has made this an awful predicament for me. Hold or release? Despite my fear, I went for it. I turned on the television for the kids, ran for the toilet, and kept the door slightly opened.

At first, it seemed like everything was going to be okay. But then the door opened. It was Emma.

"Wha Daddy doing?" said Emma.

"Oh...umm...Daddy going poo-poo," I said uncomfortably.

"Daddy go poo poo! Daddy go poo poo!" Emma said with laughter.

Annoyingly, Emma's laughter peaked Andrew's curiosity. Soon he came into the bathroom and looked very puzzled. Thankfully, Andrew doesn't talk as much as Emma. But Andrew is much more curious than Emma, so he sat down on his potty seat and just stared at me.

I told the kids to go watch television, but they were much more interested at what I was doing on the crapper. I tried not to engage them in conversation so they would be bored. Just as it seemed like the kids were going to leave, I had to drop one more kid off in the pool.

-PLOP-

"Wha dat?" Emma questioned.

"Oh...umm...Daddy went poo-poo," I answered again.

"Daddy go poo-poo! Daddy go poo-poo!" Emma screamed with laughter again.

"HAHAHAHA!" joined Andrew.

I was rather annoyed at this point so I just wanted this whole thing to be over with. So I grabbed the toilet paper roll and proceeded with the last act. As I began to clean myself, the kids crowded around me. Emma was on my right, and Andrew was on my left. The more I tried to push the kids away, they became more intrigued with my toilet paper rolling and wiping. This claustrophobia I felt made it seem like I was crapping on a crowded Tokyo subway.

The most awful thing about this is that this happened for almost an entire week. Each day around 9am, myself and the kids had this bonding experience in the bathroom. Although I was always a little uncomfortable, by the end of the week I realized that this is the kind of stuff that only families can do. If the kids are comfortable with me wiping their privates six times a day, then I should be able to accept them watching me crap just once. But hell, I wipe Lisa's privates twice a day, but I don't let her watch. Maybe that's something we'll have to work on as a family.

Day 723 - Picture Friday

Hi everyone! This is Lisa. Scott's currently unconscious and I am trying to revive him with some smelling salts. Wish him well.

Emma starts off her morning like her parents: poop in the pants and a cup of coffee.

Emma and Andrew scheme a way to get handicapped parking at the shopping mall.

Either Andrew is upset that someone took the last cup of coffee or he realizes how painful it is to hold the pot with his bare hands.

Have a great weekend!

Day 722 - Wiggle Your Way Out

What's fascinating about these kids right now is that they are willing to copy anything you do. I don't know if it's trust, love, or stupidity, but these kids really enjoy trying be like their mommy and daddy. Only if the kids realized that by copying their dad, they are on a slow road to Geekville.

Case in point, I decided to show Emma and Andrew my one true talent: wiggling my nose. Yes it is a sad talent, but it comes in handy when you're trying to get a crusty booger loose. Emma just laughed at me, but Andrew appreciated Daddy's facial artistry. I asked Andrew if he could wiggle his nose, and this is what I got...

Day 721 - Cartoon Wednesday

Day 720 - 2nd Birthday Highlights

Another birthday, another migraine. Thankfully, this year's birthday was not as involved as the first birthday. I was able to convince Lisa to let the next few years slide a little bit before the kids actually make friends and we'll have to end up inviting an entire classroom. Conversely, maybe our kids will be hated by their classmates, nobody will come to their birthdays, and the money I save can be put towards something more useful like leather pants or a television cozy to keep the dust off the screen.

I thought I would just recap their birthday celebration with photo commentary. So here we go...

Our friends, Paul and Michelle, were kind enough to let us throw a little birthday party at their house again. As you can tell from the picture, it was a Mickey and Minnie Mouse themed party. It was hard to keep those ears on their heads, but there was no way I was going to use a staple gun...a nail gun worked much better.


The party wasn't a large bash. We just invited a handful of close friends and kids that our kids play with. I thought I'd post this picture to show that we actually have friends who aren't Asian -- see, there's a white woman sitting on the sofa! I don't know her name since I don't take the time to learn the names of white people, but nonetheless, look! A white woman friend!


Actually, the white woman is our friend, Nicole. Nicole made the cake for the kids. Notice the cute little Mickey and Minnie heads all over the cake. She actually took the time to slice the heads of live mice to get those perfectly shaped cake decorations. Thanks for the cake, Nicole!
And how much do we owe you for those lab rats?


One of the presents the kids received was a kitchen set. Although I did not see what was wrong with using shoe box lids as pans and used lobster cages as pretend ovens, Lisa did not agree. I do have the suspicion that Lisa had second thoughts about the kitchen set because she was trapped underneath the box in the picture.


Paul and Michelle know all about Emma's obsession with cleaning so they bought her a cleaning set. It came with a broom, mop, dust rags, and trial-sized samples of Pine-sol, Comet, and bleach. I thought it might've been dangerous to have the kids play with the cleaning samples, but later realized it was a good thing because once they tasted them, the hours of vomiting and diarrhea really put a stop to their curiosity.


I asked Crazy Grandma if she could translate this t-shirt for us, but all she said was that it looked like a birthday cake and a Rubik's Cube were about to have sex.


Emma was really excited to have a cupcake with a birthday candle. She's usually not this excitable, but I later found out that the candle was made out of rock cocaine.


Although Emma was unable to blow out the candle by herself, Andrew succeeded! You can see the smoke coming off of the candle after his successful blow. I have no idea whether Andrew made a wish, but if he wished for a gigantic poop after eating his cupcake...his wish came true.


And that was the end of another birthday for Emma and Andrew. It was nice that Crazy Grandma and Lazy Grandpa were able to visit us for the second birthday bash. Although the days and weeks seem to go on endlessly at times, a year passes and you don't know where the time went. Lisa and I think the kids are entering a stage in which the kids are going to be a lot more engaging and entertaining...for better or for worse. Hopefully, I can deal with the better and Lisa can deal with the worse. Wish me luck on that one, folks!

Day 719 - Poll Results & New Poll

Last week I asked whether or not I should stop shaving and grow out my bountiful facial hair. Fifty percent said it should be a compromise and I should stop shaving for two weeks tops. Sadly, if I stopped shaving for two weeks I'd have as much facial hair as the underage cast of Hannah Montana (and that includes Miley too). Thirty-seven percent thought I should not stop shaving because Lisa has enough facial hair for the both of us.

Unfortunately for my barren face, but luckily for my barren bank account, I found out today that I start a television pilot in less than two weeks. Maybe I might stop shaving for a week or so just to annoy Lisa, but I think my facial hair experiment may have to wait a few months. Perhaps I can coax Lisa into joining my shaving strike by having her stop shaving her legs...and back...and arms...and face...and toes...

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Today is Emma's and Andrew's second birthday! It's hard to believe that two years have passed as well as seven hundred nineteen blog entries. Just for comparison sake, here are a few pictures of Emma and Andrew from September 2007-2009:

2007

2008

2009

To imagine that they were once small enough to squeeze out of Lisa's vagina and now they are big enough to squeeze out of Lisa's loudmouth. So to celebrate their birthday, I thought it would be appropriate for this week's poll to vote on what you would like to wish for Emma and Andrew for their next year. Happy birthday kiddies!!!

Day 718 - Strolling Around

Yesterday, we threw a birthday party for the kids. That pretty much explains the delay of the blog entries for the past few days -- that and the insane amount of liquor I've been consuming. I'll post a comprehensive 2nd birthday entry on Tuesday, but in the meantime I wanted to share this little video of Emma.

When the kids were enrolled in the summer program, Emma gravitated towards a few objects: baby strollers and turtle dung. We obviously were not going to purchase turtle dung for Emma's birthday present, so we got her a baby stroller. She has been having a lot of fun at home pushing her dolls in the stroller. So I grabbed my video camera and began to record the proceedings.

Day 717 - Conversations with Emma

Emma and Andrew are about to take a bath. They are sitting naked on top of their potty seats trying to leak or squeeze something out.

SCOTT: Do you have to go pee pee?

ANDREW: Naaaaaw.

EMMA: No.

SCOTT: Okay. Do you have to go poo poo?

ANDREW: Naaaaaw.

EMMA: An-doo go poo poo!

SCOTT: No. I don't think Andrew went poo poo.

EMMA: An-doo go poo poo!!

SCOTT: Look, Emma. There's no poo poo in the potty. Where would Andrew poop from?

EMMA: (Emma touches Andrew's penis) Dere!!!

Social Services arrives and takes Emma away for improper conduct and wee-wee molestation.

Day 716 - Picture Friday

Disappointed, the kids find no coupons for new parents.

Emma figures out a way for the hare to beat the tortoise.

Andrew's failed attempt for a new AT&T commercial idea.

Emma loves smoking her Virginia Slim Spaghetti noodles.

"Is there a Jacques Strap here? I need to find a Jacques Strap!"

Have a great weekend!

Day 715 - Roll Call

Andrew is an active kid. When he gets older we're going to have to figure out a way to convert that energy into something constructive. Lisa suggested we enroll him in karate. Lazy Grandpa and Crazy Grandma suggested he play sports. I suggested we sign him up for the Bob Fosse Fantasy Camp for Jazz Hands and Shoulder Rolls.

Our little whirlwind of a son always attempted to do somersaults. Sometimes successful, often times not. But he has recently almost mastered the art of tumbling by himself. All we have to tell Andrew is to go on his head, and he does the rest. Only if potty training was as easy as telling the kids to go on your butt. Unfortunately, pronoun confusion has caused them to poop on my butt several times.

Here is a video clip of Andrew rolling over!

Day 714 - Cartoon Wednesday

Day 713 - Shave and a Haircut...Too Bad

With the upcoming birthday weekend for the kids, I decided to get a haircut. I usually go about five weeks between cuts. The two telltale signs that I need a cut are: 1) My hair starts to cover my ears. 2) People start to confuse me with Lisa Ling.

As you can tell by the many photogenic pictures I've posted of myself, my hairstyle is fairly generic: parted off to the side with a slightly messy look. The messy look is to distract from my messy face. I don't have a regular barber at the barbershop I go to, but I've always received decent haircuts from all of the people I've seen...except this time.

One problem with glasses is that there are many details you're unable to see because you need to have your glasses off. For instance, I can never determine how my haircut looks like until after the fact when I'm able to put my glasses on. Another example is that I didn't realize until I wore my glasses in the shower that I actually have a vagina.

After this past haircut, when I put my glasses on I realized that the barber cut my bangs too short. I tried to fix it at home by shaving my eyebrows and penciling them higher on my forehead, but that just made things worse.

What I eventually realized is that when I had my hair combed straight down, I looked just like Andrew. Suffice it to say, Andrew is a lot more adorable and cute than his father, but what he lacks is his father's pure animal magnetism. Sadly, the animal I'm referring to is a naked mole rat, but magnetic nonetheless.

Here's a picture of father and son:

Day 713 - Poll Results & New Poll

Last week, I asked what we should theme Emma's and Andrew's birthday party. Forty-seven percent thought it should be a Blue's Clues party, twenty-nine percent voted for Mickey and Minnie Mouse, and seventeen percent believed the party should be themed according to Lisa's needs and wants because she's the boss.

There were two unusual outcomes from last week's poll. First of all, although Blue's Clues received the most votes and the kids LOVE "couscous", Lisa and I decided on a Mickey and Minnie Mouse party. We couldn't find any Blue's Clues decorations and the one stray dog I dyed with blue food coloring ran away. Secondly, regarding the three votes that went towards Lisa being the boss, I have this to say: Lisa, I didn't know you had access to three computers.

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For those of you who have the unfortunate pleasure of knowing me, you know that I don't have a great fashion sense. I've never really cared about keeping up my appearance that much, but I do try to be as presentable as possible when I'm at work. Regrettably, my definition of presentable is flip-flops and underwear.

As unbelievable as it may sound, my appearance goes further downhill when I'm not working. Since I'm usually cooped up at home during the weekdays, I care even less how I look. Not surprisingly, the kids added a new word to their vocabulary: hobo. At least when the weekends approach, I tidy myself up. Regrettably, my definition of tidy is clipping stray nose hairs and wiping after crapping.

The one thing that Lisa hates is when I don't shave. I've always been curious what I might look like with a lot of facial hair, but two things have always prevented this from happening: Lisa and my Japanese genes. But I do think I might have enough facial hair to grow a moustache and some weird patches of hair around my cheeks.

So what do you think? Should I stop shaving until my next job or do I continue shaving to prevent Lisa from serving me divorce papers?

Day 712- A Day in the Life

Since my television show is finished for the season, I have been Mr. Mom for almost two weeks now. For those of you who wonder what it is like to take care of two year old twins, I grabbed my trusty video camera and recorded my typical day. My day starts when the kids wake up around 7:30am, and then I get my break when Lisa returns home around 4pm.

Enjoy the video and please feel free to use it as a contraceptive (I hear Planned Parenthood might be interested in the video! Cross your fingers!).

Day 711 - That's Intestinal!

Poor Emma has been constipated. She usually does one or two poops a day, but for the past day and a half I haven't had to change her diaper. You heard me right. In these economic hard times, I believe only a poopy diaper warrants a change. I call that the Ichikawa stimulus package...although Lisa was the first to use that phrase for something completely different. Ruff-ruff!

Even when Emma isn't constipated, you know she's taking a dump because of her body language. She stands with her knees bent, eyes glazed over, and her hands grabbing onto something. Funny enough, this is the exact same body language I use over the toilet when Lisa feeds me week old shrimp cocktail.

After feeding her prunes and having her drink a lot of liquids, I finally saw Emma take her position in the living room. I was so glad she was about to squeeze a turd because I didn't want to go to my last resort which was plunging her ass. Sadly, this bowel movement must've been painful because Emma started to cry. She was gripping the coffee table with both hands and clenching her teeth. Andrew passed by her and looked at her strangely. I thought he was about to comfort her because of the tender way he was approaching her, but I was wrong. He just went up to her to take away her toy.

A few minutes later I checked Emma's diaper and sure enough there was something in there. Now I know I have talked about poop more than enough on this blog, and you may be wondering why I decided to write another entry about poop when constipation with a two year old isn't really anything that interesting. Well, here's the thing...

...it was the biggest...poop....ever.

I swear when I opened the diaper, Emma's crap was so large it had it's own gravitation pull. Little poop pebbles were circling the turd like a solar system. I didn't do anything for several seconds because I was in shock. I just held Emma's legs in the air and stared at this massive log. How the hell did this eggplant of a poop get out that little poop hole of Emma's? At this point, I wouldn't have been surprised if appendages sprouted out and it started to say "Mama!"

I proceeded to clean her up, and with all my strength, I dragged the diaper across the room and used a series of pulleys and levers to drop it into our Diaper Champ. I still have no idea how little Emma pushed out the Eighth Wonder of the World out of her baby sphincter, but I suppose she's always surprising us with something nowadays. I don't know what this forebodes about menstruation, but maybe that's a topic that Lisa can handle with a lot more grace.

Day 710 - Picture Friday

In preparation for Crazy Grandma's visit next week, Emma begins the cleaning process.

"Either these aren't my socks or my legs have shrunk to the size of Daddy's wee-wee!"

Andrew practices the box step.

Lisa screams, "Emma! Don't eat your brother's ear!"

Andrew shows Joyce what one night in heaven looks like.

Have a great weekend...with a shattered ribcage.

Day 709 - Another Turning Point

Between my busy day of taking care of the kids and talking to myself for any sort of adult conversation, I was randomly videotaping Emma and Andrew. Since Emma did not memorize any of her lines or blocking, I started to follow Andrew around. Rather I tried to follow Andrew around. He darts around our place so fast you'd think he was either on drugs or a track and field Olympian...or in some cases, both.

Anyway, I caught one of those turning points in a parent's life on video. Although the kids are only about two years old, we have gone through quite a few turning points already: crawling, walking, talking, and driving. We should've waited on the driving, but Lisa and I were sick and needed someone to pick up some matzo ball soup at Jerry's Deli.

The video speaks for itself. Excuse me while I roll in a fetal position and cry myself to sleep...

Day 708 - Cartoon Wednesday

Day 707 - Is There Another Doctor in the House?

With the combined efforts of Lisa taking care of the kids and my can-do-an-unexceptional-job attitude, I rented a Rug Doctor and cleaned our condo. I didn't go through the effort of moving all of our furniture because...well...I'm weak and effeminate. But I cleaned as much of our carpet as possible and the result was pretty good.

Although I was skeptical that the cleaning solution was non-toxic, I drank half a bottle and am alive to tell about it. The instructions recommended keeping pets, babies, and mammals out of the area during the cleaning because the Rug Doctor would pull up a lot of dust and possible allergens from the floor. Lisa took the kids out of the house while I carpet cleaned the rooms. I suggested to Lisa that although it was thoughtful of her to put the kids outside, it would be an even better idea if she went outside also to supervise them. Grumpily, Lisa put down her vodka and agreed.

After a handful of hours of moving furniture, vacuuming, and cleaning the carpets, I finished my job. Although it was pretty tiring, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was a good enough experience that I would not hesitate to do this again in another 24 months.

For Labor Day, we invited friends over for lunch. I was quite pleased with the way our place looked like because it looked pretty damn clean. Or at least I had to rationalize to myself that the hours of work made it look pretty damn clean. As our friends talked and I thought to myself how wonderfully clean the carpet feels on my bare feet, I heard our friend tell her husband these five words: The baby pooped on you.

My friend, Bernard, had their newborn son in a Baby Bjorn and somehow their kid pooped all over his shirt, his pants, and...yes...the floor. Son of a bjotch! It really wasn't a big deal at all because who hasn't pooped on their own carpet at least once in their life (Lisa: 7x). But there was something a little depressing about knowing there was baby poop on our newly cleaned carpet. For once in my life, I wished the baby pooped on our sofa.

Day 706 - Poll Results & New Poll

Last week I asked whether or not we should vaccinate our kids for the swine flu virus. Interestingly, it was a tie. Forty-four percent thought we should vaccinate and another forty-four percent thought we should not. Luckily we have twins so the simple solution is to just vaccinate one of them.

I don't think Lisa and I are in total agreement on what to do about the swine flu vaccination shots for the kids. There have been plenty of articles outlining the pros and cons. From what I have read, the short answer is that unless you're in one of the high risk groups it may not be necessary to be vaccinated. My friend forwarded an e-mail from a doctor who is a friend of hers. The doctor said that at his practice he is not recommending the vaccine unless there are really high risk factors. An interesting point he makes is that if the H1N1 virus that is currently spreading remains fairly mild, it would be a good thing for people to get the flu because the human body would create antibodies. So if this strain of the flu virus returned in a more aggressive form, at least our bodies will be better prepared to fight it off.

Since the kids are having their doctor examination in a few weeks, we'll discuss this topic with our doctor. In the meantime, I'm going to make sure I keep our kids as clean and healthy as possible and continue to give them Purell baths.

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In two weeks, Emma and Andrew will turn two years old. Not only does that mean that we have changed 1,872,387 diapers, but we are going to have to throw a birthday party for them. At least Lisa is in agreement with me that the party won't be as large as last year and will just be a handful of friends and Crazy Grandma and Lazy Grandpa. Although some (i.e. myself and Auntie Anne (pretzel maven)) may argue that one Crazy Grandma equals two dozen guests.

Lisa and I are still in disagreement over the theme of the party. I caved in and agreed to have the party themed, but nothing has been settled. Lisa is still standing her ground and wants a disco party. I argued that we should theme it to something the kids would enjoy like Mickey Mouse, Blue's Clues, or Playstation 3 Greatest Hit Games. What do you think? And hurry with the votes because the invites have to go out soon!

Day 705 - Conversations with Emma

Emma is getting pretty good with names. She may not be able to pronounce them clearly, but Emma can say the names of our immediate family, some close friends, and the entire U.S. House of Representatives (we're working on the Senate).

What she does not understand are pronouns. Here's a recent conversation I had with Emma:

SCOTT: (shows a picture of Andrew) Who's this?

EMMA: An-doo!

SCOTT: (shows a picture of Lisa) Who's this?

EMMA: Mama!

SCOTT: (shows a picture of himself) Who's this?

EMMA: Dada!

SCOTT: (shows a picture of Emma) Who's this?

EMMA: (points to herself) You!

SCOTT: No, Emma. That's not you, that's 'me'!

EMMA: (points to Scott) Me!

SCOTT: No. You're not me, you're 'you'.

EMMA: (points to herself) You!

SCOTT: (shoots himself)