Day 255 - The Move

This is a moving dolly. You can use this when you move heavy items.

This is a furniture dolly. You can also use this when you move heavy items.

This is a hobo. You can also use this to move heavy items if you have a buck fifty and a bottle of whisky.

What do all of these things have in common? I wish I had any of them when I moved the kids out of our bedroom and into their bedroom this past Sunday.

As I have been whining and complaining about moving the kids out of our room for the past month (mostly due to other people whining and complaining about me), I finally decided to do it. On Saturday, my mom was whining and complaining (SEE!) about me not getting the cribs into the other bedroom. Since my parents are going back up to Sacramento soon, my mom said they would be over Sunday afternoon to help me move everything. Just thinking about this room swap reminded me of my stay in a Turkish bath house: it was going to be a pain in the ass.

When Sunday morning arrived, my regular routine of having a hot breakfast while reading the sports section (for the Fry's Electronic ad) was given a detour because I decided to start the move on my own. I knew the move was going to take a long time and if I decided to wait until the afternoon, the entire day would be shot. When the kids finally woke up, I started my hellish task of moving the cribs. The time: 7:30am.

Before taking the cribs apart, I tried to push the crib into their new bedroom as is. It did not fit through the doorway as is. I took off one side of the crib and tried. Again, it did not fit. I took off another side of the crib. Nope, no go. Finally after I took off another side, the crib fit through the doorway. And do you know why it fit? Because I TOOK APART THE ENTIRE DAMN CRIB, THAT'S WHY!

After doing this TWICE (...twins...), I came to a realization that I hate the Allen wrench. If I ever meet Mr. Allen Wrench, I'm going to take his nuts and bolt them to his eyelids. My fingers still ache from twisting and torquing dozens of screws. I've never screwed so much since...well...ever.

While assembling the cribs in the bedroom, Lisa was singing to Emma and Andrew. Emma was pretty fussy and crying for a few minutes. After unsuccessfully tightening a screw with the wrench, I lost my temper and for editorial purposes yelled the name of the item I was trying to tighten, a screw, with a shorter, four-letter version of aforementioned item. Suddenly the crying stopped and Emma just stared at me. It looked like she was going to smile, but it turned into crying.

Thankfully, Lisa took the kids out for a stroll to grab some bagel sandwiches for breakfast. And by the time she got back, I finished piecing together both cribs and put them in place. The time: 9:45am.

You may think this is the end of the story. But nooooooo! Not only did I have to move the cribs, but I also had the following to do for the next three hours:

1) Move the changing table.
2) Move the love seat.
3) Move the shelving to make room for the love seat.

And then I had more to do in our bedroom nook to get that area set up as our study:

1) Assemble a L-shaped desk (this is almost another entry in itself...).
2) Move a full-sized digital piano.
3) Move a bookshelf.
4) Move a file cabinet.
5) Move a side table.
6) Move a television.
7) Move a nightstand.

When all was said and done, it took me from 7:30am-2pm to complete everything I just mentioned. Two days later, my back and fingers still ache, and I have a bad crick in my neck. But everything is done, and it is a bit of a relief. Lisa did help me when she could, and my parents showed up around 1pm to keep the kids out of the way and help clean up. Yet to think all my pain and whining and complaining could've been preempted only if I was able to get a dolly and a hobo. Where's a hobo when you need one?