Saturday, January 7, 2012

Day 1536 - One Way Street

Have you ever had a conversation like this with your four year old girl?

Emma, what are you drinking?

looks at the juice box
Plum juice.

points at the juice box
Emma.  You're drinking grape juice.

looks at juice box again
No.  It's plum juice.

But look at the picture of the grape on your juice box.

Daddy!  That's not a grape.  That's a plum!

But it doesn't say the word plum anywhere on the box!

If it tastes like plums, then it's PLUM juice, Daddy!

Well, I have been having way too many of these one way, dead-end conversations with Emma.  I'll try to correct her about something, but her four year old logic beats my college educated mind every time.  The thing about four year old reasoning is that things are the way they are because that's the way you want them to be.  Screw logic and reasoning!  Nietzsche, Kant, Plato, and Aristotle...what the hell do they know.   But Phineas, Ferb, Lance Rock, and Elmo...they are the gospel!

When these moments occur with Emma, I find myself strangely competitive and determined to prove her wrong.  Part of it is that I want Emma to understand that it's okay to be wrong and to be corrected.  The other part of it is that she's F*&^ING WRONG!!!!  IT'S GRAPE JUICE, DAMMIT!  PLUMS DON'T EVEN GROW ON VINES!

I don't know why Emma is so stubborn about being corrected.  Maybe like many things it is just a phase, or maybe she likes to see my flustered face because it makes her laugh.  But I think it is just another clue to her maturing and developing personality.  She'll probably be a pretty astute girl who does not enjoy being proven wrong.  In other words, Emma is just like Mommy.

It will be even more frightening for me when Emma gets older and will actually make sense with her arguments.  But I have been thinking long and hard about that recently and have come up with two fool-proof, all-purpose answers:  1)  Because I said so!  and 2)  Ask your Mom!  

I really do think I have the teenage years under control now.

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