Sunday, January 1, 2012

Day 1530 - Happy New Year

Happy New Year!  It seems like only yesterday when the kids were but a figment of my loins.  Yet here comes 2012 to usher in another year of fun, frustration, and chronic ulcers.

I decided I would explain the idea of New Year resolutions to Emma and Andrew.  It always seems like a good idea at first to explain new concepts to them, but then I always end up stammering and stuttering trying to search for words that they would understand.  It's like me explaining to a girl why I wouldn't be disgusting in bed.

After a lengthy explanation of resolutions with as many one syllable words and Jake and the Neverland Pirates references, I hoped they understood my explanation.  But all I was met with was confusion and blank stares.  Much like the girl after I got her into bed.

I proceeded to use myself as an example and listed some of my resolutions:  refinance our mortgage, decide between a will and a trust, and diversify our investments.  Once again, more blank stares.  So I tried to keep it on their level of sophistication and said, "Fart less."  Eureka!  They got it!

So here for the first time are Emma's and Andrew's New Year's resolutions!

1.  Do more art.
2.  Color.
3.  Write a book.
4.  Play with my dolls more.

1.  Play with my cars.
2.  Buy more cars.
3.  Go poo-poo on Mommy's head.

Although a simple list, at least Andrew can say that he accomplished number three with a fresh number two.

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