While I was helping Andrew brush his teeth, Emma entered the bathroom and sat on the toilet. After she finished her business, she asked me to wipe her. When I am faced with the choice of using my hands to brush teeth or wipe ass, teeth wins every time.
I told Emma that she couple wipe herself. As she wiped herself clean, I noticed she was using the same toilet paper over and over again to scratch her ass.
"Emma, please stop doing that," I told her.
"But my bottom is itchy!" she complained as the toilet paper became riddled with more and more holes.
"Why don't you ask Mommy to put some diaper cream on your bottom," I suggested.
"Okay," Emma agreed as she flushed the toilet and smelled her fingers -- not necessarily in that order.
Lisa was just around the corner, so she took out the Desitin and was all ready for Emma's request. Emma was shocked to see Lisa holding the cream.
"How did you know I was going to ask you for cream?" exclaimed Emma.
Lisa smugly answered, "Because I know everything!"
And as Lisa carried Emma to the changing table, Emma added, "And Daddy doesn't know anything!"
Oh sigh. The truth does sting, doesn't it?