Saturday, August 1, 2009

Day 670 - The Accidental Poopist

So far the potty training has been pretty poopless and peeless. Lisa has Emma sit on the potty seat several times a day, but nothing has fallen into it except several Elmo crackers that somehow got into Emma's diapers (I knew that Elmo was a perv!). Andrew has even less patience and interest in the potty. The only thing he has done with the potty that is of any interest is eat several Elmo crackers from Emma's potty. But several days ago, something craptastic happened.

As Lisa was taking the kids out of the tub after their daily bath (Hear that Crazy Grandma! DAILY bath. DAILY!), Lisa smelled something funny as she was drying Emma. At first she thought Emma may have farted or even worse, pooped in the towel. But there was no poop to be found. Next, Lisa checked her own underwear because why the hell not. When she found nothing in her underwear except an Elmo cracker, she was puzzled. Turning her head, Lisa saw Andrew making a funny face. Even funnier was what was on the floor between his legs: an all-natural Andrew log.

Of course, Lisa freaked out because she was surrounded by two naked babies and a pile of fresh baby brownies. The fecal possibilities were endless! Quickly, Lisa told Emma and Andrew to sit on their potty chairs until she could do a quick clean up. While dropping Andrew's Mounds bar into the toilet, the kids stood up and watched it get flushed down the toilet. Lisa tried to regather the kids and get them into the bedroom, but she discovered that Andrew actually pooped in his potty chair! He got a second wind (literally) and successfully emptied his bowels into his bowl.

Lisa made a big deal about it and told Andrew what a great job he did. I think Lisa was truly excited about this whole incident because she kept Andrew's poop in the potty chair until I got back home from work so I could actually see his achievement. I kindly thanked Lisa for her thoughtfulness, but insisted there was no need to preserve Andrew's excrement and that if she ever did the same thing for Emma's first period, I would have to gouge my eyes out.

Although Andrew's poop in the potty was purely by chance, I suppose this is the way you encourage the kids to use their potty more often. There are a few things that our kids can't quite do yet that would make potty training easier (i.e. sit down on a chair for more than a few minutes, pulling your pants up and down, reading tabloid magazines), but as long as they show an interest in it, we will continue to encourage it. And if you don't mind, I'm going to have to excuse myself because I just found Elmo crackers in my underwear. What is UP with that Muppet???

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