Yesterday was our 11th wedding anniversary which incidentally coincides with my 11th no-longer-a-virgin anniversary. Our friend, Lisa Haskins, was kind enough to babysit the kids while we snuck out to movie. Emma and Andrew are very familiar with Lisa Haskins because she usually comes over once a week to bond with my wife over Bravo reality television programming. I'm glad the kids are comfortable with Lisa Haskins because that means their fear of Caucasians is finally disappearing.
When the kids were younger, Lisa and I would just sneak out without a peep to the kids. But now that the kids are older and tend to leave their beds, we tell them we are leaving, but will come back when they have fallen asleep. And most importantly, we tell them not to wait up for us because it is extremely embarrassing to see your parents inebriated.
After I told the kid their bedtime stories, it was time for me to tell them that Mommy and Daddy were going out for the night.
"Emma and Andrew. Lisa Haskins is going to be downstairs because Mommy and Daddy have to go out for a little bit," I said.
The kids rebelled. "Where are you going?" shouted Emma.
"Don't leave us!" screamed Andrew.
"You just go to sleep, and then Mommy and Daddy will be here when you wake up," I calmly stated.
"Why do you have to go? Where?" demanded Emma and Andrew.
I felt it was my duty as a parent to tell them the truth. "We are going to Costco."
Okay. I lied. But Costco certainly isn't as appealing as the cinema!
"I want to go! I want to go! Take me!" cried Andrew.
Emma was surprisingly calm, but Andrew was not taking this news very well. He was grabbing on to me and would not return to bed.
I picked him up, gave him a big hug, and as I tucked him into bed I told him, "Costco is no fun. We'll go there really fast and be right back."
And then came the fury. Andrew is the child with the good-natured temperament, but this time he released his toddler Kraken. He looked at me with an evil eye and stated this ultimatum, "You go and buy ONE thing and come RIGHT back!" He emphasized his seriousness by hitting his pillow and then fell into bed.
Although hilarious, I couldn't leave him on that note. So I bent over and whispered into his ear, "Oh silly child of mine. It's impossible to buy only one thing at Costco."
We then said thank you to Lisa Haskins, drove to the movie theater, and had the most romantic anniversary ever watching Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer.
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