Day 1194 - Crazy Grandma Ichikawa Storytime

I hope you're putting away enough money into your health savings account because you'll need extra medication in order to enjoy this entry of...Crazy Grandma Ichikawa Storytime!

Next week, the kids are going to start preschool. We are all excitedly anticipating the big day when Emma and Andrew are off to their first day of pseudo-school, and Crazy Grandma of course has her two cents about it. And man, if I had two cents every time she piped in about something, I would have $1,546,380.02.

The first week of preschool is a transition week. On the first day, the kids only go for three hours, but I'm with them the whole time. On the second day, the kids go for four hours, and I'm still with them. On the third day, the kids go for four hours by themselves. On the fourth day, the kids go six hours by themselves. On the fifth day, the kids are on their own. And on the sixth day, I recover from a severe hangover from partying too much on day five.

I was trying to explain this transition week to Crazy Grandma, and I needed a transition week just to recover from the conversation.

CRAZY GRANDMA
Soooo...when dooo dah kidz stahrt preskool?

CRAZY SON
They start next week, but it's a transition week. I stay with them for the first few days.

CRAZY GRANDMA
I waz tahlking to dah neighbor and dey have dere kid in preskool. Dey had to go to skool with dem for one hour for two weeks.

CRAZY SON
Well, this school doesn't do that.

CRAZY GRANDMA
You stay wif dem for two weeks too?

CRAZY SON
No. The first day is only three hours.

CRAZY GRANDMA
So you stay wif dem for one hour and dey stay for two more?

CRAZY SON
No, I stay with them for three hours.

CRAZY GRANDMA
The preskool is only three hours?

CRAZY SON
No...

CRAZY GRANDMA
Only three hours for two weeks?

CRAZY SON
NO...three hours for only the first day...

CRAZY GRANDMA
You know, the neighbor sayz she had to stay one hour for two weeks. Maybe you can do dat.

CRAZY SON
But this school doesn't do that.

CRAZY GRANDMA
Maybe dey should!

CRAZY SON
But they don't!

CRAZY GRANDMA
Well, the neighbor sayz she had to stay one hour for two weeks.

At this point, I hung up on Crazy Grandma and immediately called my therapist. I am going to see her one hour for the next two weeks...